Original Intent

                         EMS                                                                Foyer #2                                                c-2003

Original Intent

Dreams are Not Negotiable – Paulo Coelho

I had a continuation of an ongoing dream last night.

Somehow Edy and I found ourselves in a project I did many moons ago in Taos with some folks who were some kind of tour guides. As they went from space to space they explained that “Mrs. X” had the vision and aesthetic to add this particular multicolored fringe to the Harsh Iron Railings and felt the Chandeliers needed more color and on and on…………..I wanted to explode and throw up at the same time as we toured the facility. “OK, Calm down” I said to myself as we went from space to space and I saw and then heard the explanations for all the “adornments”. “Oh, my”…………I sighed as we trudged forward. “It’s not about YOU” I reminded myself for the umpteenth time, “It really isn’t” as the drone of explanations continued and the visual accosting continued……….”MAKE IT STOP !!!” I cried out as we just kept going and going.

At a particular stopping point to again get more “information” , I asked the tour guide if they knew the original “intention” behind the design of facility” ?  “Actually, NO, one of them replied, “we just work from this script”, waving it in front of my face. “Oh, I said and started to calm down a bit. “Would you like to?” I asked. They both looked uncomfortable and shuffled their feet while looking anywhere but at me and I just began to say:

“This facility was built to honor ALL religions, spiritual practices and beliefs. It was originally indented as a refuge for people caught up in the rat-race of their choosing to find a place to rest and reconnect with their God and leave transformed. Each area, element and detail is designed specifically for this purpose” .   No mention of me or my role, just the facts that opened the door to what became “this place” . They looked at each other and then back to the paper and just walked off. We followed them, as I knew the way out.

This theme of Original Intention –vs- Negotiating Dreams is up these days. Project after project – person after person, I witness the blowing off original intentions or dreams for some facsimile that has been negotiated in the mind and heart to the point that it seems “right.”  It’s a very painful process to witness yet it I know it’s being shown to me for a reason.

Where am I selling out or negotiating my dreams? What motivates me to even consider that they ARE negotiable? Is it a self worth thing? Is it fear of actually getting it ALL? Could it be a faith/doubt thing?   I’m curious, what are my joy buffers ?

Off to yoga to continue the investigation.