The End of the World

The End of the World

I thought I better get busy and write another installment on the blog before tomorrow, as it could be my last. Big Dates have a lot of power and the hype around this one has certainly charged up ol’ planet earth’s humans to a higher frequency that they normally resonate. Add to this some additional holiday hype and a looming fiscal cliff and there is a recipe for disaster brewing somewhere…………..or everywhere…………who knows?

I had an interesting discussion with a young man of (almost) 14 yesterday about this subject and he admitted to being worried because of all the TV he watches BUT he also went on to say … “well you know dinosaurs lived for 50 million years and we’ve only been around for a few thousand , so that makes me feel better”. “Whatever gets you through the night” I said to him. When he asked what that meant I told him they were lyrics from an old song that have now become “philosophy” like many songs. He shook his head and probably got worried all over again................OR "youtubed it" 

Seriously, (actually not seriously) I have been thinking about this “prediction” for many years now. I know many scholarly types have some concrete data they point to surround all of this and I respect them. Over the past few weeks I’ve been thinking just how many times the world (as I knew it) has ended in my short lifetime and I came to the conclusion that it has been too many to remember. World ending in my opinion comes in two flavors - gradual and sudden.

An example of gradual would be dating/marriage (unless it involves booze and Vegas) also included would be children, education, divorces, illnesses, wars, peace, careers….etc.. In a matter of months or years what you used to see and feel as YOUR WORLD shifts into a new world and life goes on……..hopefully.

One example of sudden is the FLOOD OF 1999.

On New Years Eve afternoon a HUGE water main broke outside my office and flooded the basement with all of my archives. Folks were pretty sure the end of the world was going to happen when 2000 rolled in in a few hours but for me the loss of decades of records, family heirlooms, prototypes, original drawings and photographs was enough to change my world forever.  Several years later a tornado brought the whole building down……………go figure !   Other examples of “sudden” would obviously be catastrophic events including sudden deaths.  This month has certainly had its share of these too.

My astronomical / astrological friends tell me that we are moving closer to the Galactic Center and this movement will continue to “ramp thing up” for many more months (assuming we survive to experience said ramp). I don’t have a “plan” for tomorrow but I am sure enjoying all the humor surrounding it and particularly the word play off of Mayan…………

I am heartened to know that Intelligent life does exist on this planet…

….. if just for another few hours.

..and the Creek don't rise....

Honest Work Series                                                 Til'  Harvest                                                                              c- 2011

…and the Creek don’t rise…..

We returned on Sunday from a whirlwind road trip to Taos and back in just a few days. It was a dream of ours to all be together and there were times in very recent memory that we wondered out loud if it would ever happen. It happened !!

 Astute map planning cut many hours off of an already long trip. We were blessed with a reliable automobile, clear skies, beautiful stars, planets, a few meteors and a really nice ¾ moon as we drove on and on throughout the darkness. Lowel George’s “Willin” came easily to me as we passed certain towns and the numerous trucks on the way.

I love road trips.

Daytime is preferred but given the holiday and the fact that we had children with us the evening travel made the most sense. As we drove through some of the most sparsely populated parts of this country I was reminded of what a young country we are and how we have thrived beyond what could have ever been imagined just a few generations before.

We were originally a country of risk takers and dreamers. I’m not so sure anymore “what” we are but the risk takers and dreamers seem few and far between. As we passed thousands of acres of cattle ranches and various farms I was reminded that it was these industries that kept this part of the world going for hundreds of years. We soon passed the huge wind farms in Lubbock and my admiration for dreamers and risk takers resurfaced again.  Blessed are the "can-do" men / women.

We were greeted in Taos with open arms and the hospitality was overwhelming. The kids immediately went to work catching up on the current hierarchy and the novelty of having a new little fella around. Sisters Sistered, Men got to work in the kitchen and Edy was in her glory as her brood flourished. A collective sigh could be heard as we all sat together. WOW, We did it !! This is one for the wall paintings in our Village. A valuable lesson for generations to come.

I was also reminded that it was just four years ago that Saffron was hatched around another Thanksgiving Table. It’s a dream I still hold, but as of today it’s not found a place to root despite many false starts.  If this gathering has shown us anything it is that if it meant to be – it will be...............when the time is right.

Before we knew it, it was time to retrace our route back to Texas. The ride was mellow with more good talks all around. Kids slept and before we knew it we were back, road buzz and all.

Today was our first day back to yoga for a week. Aside from stiffness from sitting in a car for 30+ hours and too much rich food, the class was just what I needed. After I showered and came back out into the waiting room I overheard a discussion between and instructor and Edy about how things are never the same after beginning yoga as a practice. Boy could I relate to that! It’s not that any kind of judgment needs to be placed on that statement it has more to do with additional perspective and awareness’s than it does with anything else. I’ll call it the 1^st law of yoga. Hold on and Let Go !

 This year is not over yet but it sure has been a doozie. Plans and certainties of the first of the year shifted by the 2^nd quarter and have been shifting ever since in an almost blinding slideshow. Nothing feels certain and any hope of sure footing seems impossible. It’s also not been cataclysmic in its shifting although it sure feels like it could be. It’s been more like physical, emotional, spiritual  and professional tectonic plates moving around to find another pre-ordained alignment. It’s pretty darned exciting sometimes when it’s not so scary. I am so grateful we all get the chance to witness each other as we progress through our individual and collective evolution. It’s a vulnerability I am not at all used to but it does feel right and God Wilin' ; I’m certainly “Willin" and ready for the next.....

      

Times of Plenty

Times of Plenty

Seasonal change in the south is subtle, very subtle. Slight variations in hue, fluffy seed pods, and St. Augustine Grass slowly fading toward tans. We missed a lot of this subtlety last year because of the draught, whereby all we saw from one winter to the next was a lot of brown and dry.

One of the most interesting things that has come about as a result of last year’s devastating draught is the abundance of seeds, nuts and fruit produced by the surviving trees. If one had no idea that the draught occurred they might assume that his is a “normal crop”. Of course this is not the case.

It would be a simple task for the city to gather up a small portion of these and just cover them with soil to replace the 5MM+ trees that were lost last summer. It won’t happen but it’s nice to think it could. Shoot we have 5MM in out block alone to start with. Then there is the whole revenue stream and job creation thing but I try not to dip my toe in those waters any more.

Another fun part of this time of year is that some of these “seeds” happen to be pecans. I first found a few last month while riding in a neighborhood I rarely ride through and then today Edy and I passed a “mother -load” and gathered some which I  just got through candying for snacks.

The recipe was one I “invented” when I was in 6^th grade after I stumbled upon another “mother-load” while climbing on the roof of our apartment building.  I collected three shopping bags of them and devised a grand plan of becoming the next “Stucky’s”.   The shelling of 1/6^th of one bag tempered these dreams a bit but I used up all the Glad Bags we had in the house and took them (raw-unshelled) to school and sold them for 25 cents a bag. Big bucks in the late 60’s, I assure you.  I experimented with my candy recipe some more and tried to do a caramel/chocolate thing (I later learned they were called turtles) which became mush and gooey on the way to school and settled on a pecan brittle type thing with cinnamon.  I have no idea how I came up with the recipe but am sure a lot of experimentation took place. What is even more amazing is that I remembered it all these years later as well as the “art of shelling”.

Anyway, “back in the day” I soon found that I could get 25 cents for 6 candied pecans where my bags held 30+/- whole pecans. I did the math and it turned out to be a thriving business for about a week until the school found out and told me to stop. It then turned into a black market operation for a bit more with folks meeting me after school and “doing a deal”.  Like many consumer items this one faded from the spotlight due partially to seasonal availability and more importantly customer saturation. The novelty had worn off.  

 

It was a very important lesson.   

 

 

Don't Look Back

Sought Relection in 1984 after creating Reganomics and other assorted follies - He was relected because the other guy was a putz (Mondale) ...............So, who is really still running the show here folks ???  .........REALLY ??

Don’t Look Back

There are milestones and then there are milestones. Today happens to be one that makes me shake my head in wonder and offer up an extra hooray of gratitude for life and ALL that goes with it. There are many times when I feel the need to judge a moment in time as good or bad but it’s days like these that let me remember what a truly bad day is and let any judgments about what IS go as quickly as possible.

28 years ago today, in 1984 Reagan was president seeking another term and I was sitting in a chair in Upstate New York wondering what the heck I had done with my life?  I was 27 years old and had already achieved a lot of outside successes as well as having experienced some truly dismal failures; that chair being one of them, or so I thought at the time.  At that moment I knew that all my tomorrows were going to be like my yesterdays and even though I was not even 30 years old yet, I was already a has been.  It was a bad day.

I learned a lot over the next twenty eight days about the definition of a disease, co-dependence, soul sickness and grace. I left there feeling that I had no clue what was going to happen next, but whatever it was – I’d be ok, of this I was absolutely certain.

I found out much later that people are actually born with this inner knowing. There were so many of those epiphanies over the next several years that I stopped counting and just re-programmed everything I thought I knew and spent most of those years shaking my head saying out loud ……“Oh my, that too?”.

Over the years, I’ve met thousands of folks who also suffer from the same “affliction”. From the upper crust 1 %ers to guys in Maximum Security at a State Penn. It’s an equal opportunity disease that spares no one, regardless of income level or address.  In fact some of the guys in Max WERE 1%ers at one time. Back in my day they gave a success rate of less than 10% for folks obtaining remission. Today I think it is even less.

Like everything else I do in life I dove in to the new life with all I had and never looked back. I approached my new life with Bushido  as I felt I was now at war.  Also, as a big 007 fan, I remember thinking “hey”.....You Only Live Twice, and put the pedal to the metal. There seemed to be a huge sense of urgency to make up for lost time and I worked like crazy to build or more accurately re-build dreams I lost while off-track. The promises they promised me came true in spades and on the outside things were looking pretty fine and dandy. I was graced and did not even know it.

Then folks around me started dying. Dying from the disease itself and from the many off-shoot forms of mutation it takes on. These were some of my very closest friends, confidents and support team members. This rocked my world to its core and set be back on my butt. I asked one of my senior mentors “what the heck was going on here?, this just isn’t right”. “Davey, ma-boy” he said “This is a killer, don’t you forget it. and never, NEVER let your guard down because it’s not about the stuff you put in you, It’s Life, LIFE is waiting for you to drop your guard”….”Crap” I said “really”?.....”Life on Life’s Terms Davey, Not YOURS”, (bless you George P).

Over the years those words and many others like them float in and out of my brain during high times and low times. What seems like a huge victory is often revealed as a major folly and conversely what feels like the worst thing ever turns out to be a springboard for something joyful beyond comprehension (cue “the chair” in the 2nd paragraph and a thousand other things).     A lot of life has gone under the bridge over these past decades, some of it I’ve accepted as it came along, other parts I have fought with all my might until I surrendered and cried “uncle”.

One of the most wonderful and unexpected gifts of this past year has been a complete transformation and resurrection of my body. I am healthier now that I have EVER been. Even when I ran nine miles a day in my early 20’s I was not in the shape I am in today after only ten months of Bikram yoga. I am amazed at this. The other is my relationship with Edy and all we have gleaned in 2012. There is way too much to put into a post like this but suffice it to say it is deeper and wider than anything I ever knew existed in this life to date.

For a guy who made sure his life was arranged with certainty and nice little ducks in a row for years, these past several years of fearless exploration, risk, adventure and creation have been the most exciting yet. Scary as anything but exciting, very exciting! I have no clue how any of this will turn out,  but I do know it’s all going to be OK, of this I am certain..........................just Don’t Look Back

Stairway to Heaven

Stairway to Heaven

 

Tomorrow is a special day.

Not only does Edy return from another visit to Taos with the kids, but it is also our Wedding Anniversary. A few dozen lifetimes wrapped into just half dozen years; awe-inspiring does not even begin to touch what we have.

So, six years ago today my son in-law and I went out for Mexican food and then watched an old war movie while I tried my best to sit still. I was “happy/nervous” as a young man I know used to say and so excited about the coming day. I joked with Edy earlier that we were embarking on something quite new for both of us and it was going to be”The Beginning of a Great Adventure”. Little did either of us know just how great or just how exciting! (“Little did we know” is a term we use often because it also part of a movie we love with Dustin Hoffman who… “ wrote a whole book on: “little did he know”….)

 “Universes colliding” was how we described our coming together. Forces bigger than us propelled us forward toward each other and resistance was futile on all fronts. Resistance remains futile to this day. Fusion IS a very powerful force.

We were married on a beautiful autumn day in Santa Fe in the Chapel of the Sisters of Lorreto. It’s a famous historic place now adjoining a nice hotel. The stairway was carved and built by a traveler who after completing it just “kept on truckin”…..It is a beautiful piece of work. Our minister was cool older gent who had done a million weddings and thankfully stayed awake during the entire ceremony. We hired a wonderful guitar player of regional fame and emense talent who unfortunately passed on to the other side a few months after our service. Kids and very young grandchildren were in attendance and everyone dressed up for the occasion. It was a magical day.

 At the appointed time, it began to snow lightly outside and Edy and her “ladies” made their way into the chapel with soft flakes in their hair. Edy was stunning in her cream dress and gloves, absolutely stunning. From the moment I saw her, the rest of the service gets a bit fuzzy. Vows, “I do’s”, kisses on the spiral stair, photos, signing the extra large bi-lingual marriage certificate and dinner in the “Hopi Room” of the adjoining Hotel.

We left early the following morning to visit a famous spa frequented by Hollywood stars. When we got to “the place” it was ...how do you say?…..”Underwhelming” and we passed on even trying it out. We headed west into “Indian territory” not the most PC word but true for we spent the next many, many days touring the beautiful lands of the Zuni, Acoma, Navajo, Hopi and other Puebloan cultures old and new.  The lands were gorgeous and the people super friendly but the dark energy of the places cast a veil over us for the entire trip.

One afternoon we illegally parked and hiked down and into the side of a multicolored sandstone mountain cave-ette and watched the sun set over the 3^rd mesa of the Hopi. We held hands and talked about how many other new loves had been in this place gazing on such a sacred site as we were doing this night? Dozens, hundreds, thousands  over how many millennia ?......”Only the spider woman knows the answer to that one” we chuckled.  To this day I do not know “why” I was compelled to take my new bride on such a journey or adventure as it might better be described; an adventure that has not let up for even a day since it began. Hold on tight or put your hands up in the air it makes no difference; the ride is what it is and our tickets are definitely “punched”.

It’s no joke that all good things in my life today are because of Edy. Loving her is the reason my heart beats. “Home” is wherever Edy is; regardless of geography. Love follows her wherever we go. H, F,M  and the grandchildren fill me daily with such joy and to witness them come into their own places of maturity and power has been an honor, an absolute honor.

It has occurred to me over the past several months that I have married God’s personal spokesperson. “Little did I know” that when I kissed her on those stairs six years ago I would be ascending a stairway to heaven every day of my life from that day forward.

Happy Anniversary EML!!!  (Edy My Love)

 

 

 

  

Sultans of Swing

Sultans of Swing

I’ve been working on some energy tax rebate stuff and 3D models for a current client since I got home from yoga this afternoon and was able to check it off my to do list.

Not bad, for changing out some lamps the owner gets a free year of electricity for both of his studios in five years, and saves another $4k per year thereafter, not bad at all. 3D models are a fun tool for clients and contractors to “get it” – They’re easy to do with the software I use and a couple decades of doing them makes it go pretty smoothly. Youtube albums also help with the production pace as the mouse and keyboard fly when Janis or Jimi are cranking it up.ZZ Top was good for the tedious erasing that sometimes needs to happen with “hides” and Dire Straights was on for the final layouts. They always remind me of my time in Japan in the 80’s. THAT trip needs to happen again !!  Bach accompanied me during the number crunching for the tax rebate calcs. A little Moonlight sonata works well with excel I have found.  

As I worked and switched between albums I noticed that Arlo Gutherie’s wife passed away this morning. He wrote a touching “epilogue” on facebook. I know no particulars, only that they loved each other and now she’s gone. Sad.

Our “potential projects” here have taken on a Mayan calendar quality as days,weeks, months might as well be baktun or some such Long Count system or perhaps it’s reverted to the Redwood system of time keeping whereby “next week” actually means “photosynthesis willing”………….I’ve given up on trying to plan anything around any of them as whatever is going on has no relationship to “time as I know it”.

Thank goodness for yoga! For one short period of my days I can be certain that at least that will be there.

Truth is I am bored out of my gourd. I could have easily farmed out all the stuff I did today but I felt the bees in my brain and I needed to give them an outlet. I don’t want to be “busy” like I have been in prior times but the cosmic work flow governor needs to be screwed out another ¾ of a turn and soon, please!  

In the meantime my current client will continue to get models of every angle of his place and tax forms for both studios and the house too. The Sultans of Swing are an antsy bunch.

Bokeh

Bokeh

I’ve taken a few weeks off from the blog as I seem to be in a perpetual state of flux, all over again. Sure yoga has continued on every day and various other daily and nightly happenings still occur on schedule but other happenings haven’t and still more have been side tracked by actual “Acts of God”. So, it’s been a series of intense roller coaster rides one after another. Clickity click on up to the highest highs and cheek fluttering , super exhilarating G-forces zoom down to new lowest lows. Banked curves rattle my teeth right and then left and back again until we start all over on the way up; clickity click, clickity click.... My back is pressed hard against the seat and I try to move my fingers quickly to get some circulation back in them before they are needed again. It takes some time to get any feeling back  and while I shake and wiggle them I squint to look out at the scenery around me but it is blocked by struts and infrastructure and I can only see glimpses past the frame work to the scenes beyond. Just when I think I have the “lay of the land” and what may lay ahead the tracks are shifted and ….“wooooooaaaaaaaa”……………nothing is as it is expected to be, and the only certainty of late, is an over abundance of un-certainty!!!

I’ve been trying to focus on different things during these rides which I am sure are of the utmost importance, but BOKEH only allows for small glimpses of anything that is the least bit in focus and it seems the moment I feel like I have a grasp on “it” either with my mind, my eyes, my heart or my soul the focal point shifts and I am then trying to make sense out of THAT,……then THAT,…then THAT …….it’s exhausting.

I’m writing now from a public library in Austin. We’re waiting to pick up LLL from school and rendezvous with   M and KH for a continuation of a really fun weekend. The Taos gang planned and made this long weekend happen and are now on their return drive home.  They brought with them a cold front (which they have mastered) and that too was “a bit more of the unexpected”. Walmart saved the day with warm clothes and found items in the soccer field next door allowed for hours of fun for all. Swimming at the Y was a blast and birthday parties at the kid park helped round it all out.  One evening we were able to fit a grammy a grandpa and two kids in a bed as a further installment to our adventure series about visits to  Austin and it will be added to the bigger volumes of The Hotel Chronicles.  

 

Coming together is always challenging. On one hand it’s super fun to be together and catch up on the happenings since out last visits. Whatever the “hump-day” is, there is a grey cloud of dread that starts to build up on the horizon signifying that there is a finite duration to this particular visit and I begin to feel that we have a clock ticking until we have to say goodbye.  We’re pretty fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time together during the year but as I see these guys growing and learning new skills each trip  I feel like even these short periods between visits are not short enough. BOKEH makes this all the more challenging.

We all have our lives going on in three different parts of the country and for the moment this is the way it is. As we’ve discovered over the past few years, what seemed certain and focused can shift in an instant and something entirely new can appear with spontaneous clarity, as the former fades to the background.

I guess all that is needed is an awareness of the most subtle of shifts.  

 

Livin the Dream

                 Vision Quest Series                                                  "My Dar-u-ma"                                                 c-2012

Livin’ the Dream

I’ve been getting up super early these past few days….missing Edy and anticipating my days has me charged up and raring to “carpe diem”. Unfortunately the “plans” of past two days have been thwarted because of medical emergencies on the part of the plan-ees and I have had to readjust accordingly.   In that I am now a yoga-ninja, my “flexibility” in times like these are becoming impressive even to me and I wonder more than once during the day……“Who IS that guy?”

I got a lot done early this AM and headed over to church super early and got a primo seat. I people watched as the throngs entered and struck up a conversation with a young gent next to be who was definitely “charged up” as he had also attended the earlier service and wanted an encore. Messages, Music and Energy were great and I left with my batteries topped off and ready for the coming week.

While in Taos I received a call from one of the yoga instructors I have come to enjoy and he asked if I could help him in developing a business plan for a new venture he is planning in his home country. I was honored. We chatted from afar and then met earlier in the week to go over homework I had suggested. He worked very hard and had developed an impressive amount of critical information that he then input into the template we discussed. We went through his plan line by line and added some more notes and “to do” lists for our next meeting. “Living the Dream” – HIS Dream !!....man, I am such a huge FAN of that!   

Yesterday was my birthday and I had planned to be out on a site measuring and “being productive” but as I alluded earlier, stuff came up and it was just not to be. I decided to turn my pent up energy on my closet and a bunch of remaining files I had on jobs of yore and some other “important stuff” I keep feeling I need to hold on to but have not (yet) brought myself to “pitch”. As I was digging and pitching I came across an old  Daruma I had received as a gift many moons ago.  As the link points out it’s an old tradition and the idea is to present it to someone who is entering into a new venture (adventure). As they firm up their intention they paint in one eye and upon realization of their “dream” the other eye is painted on.  Obviously mine is unpainted. As I looked it over I thought of all the ad-ventures experienced over the past 55 years, perceived thwarts that turned out to be blessings, failures that were actually more blessings and loads of successes and life experiences that are a wonder to behold ……….(AND the ride isn’t even over yet!!). I then thought that a more appropriate visual for my Daruma would be the one eye painted then about a ga-zillion thin wires stuck in the other socket, each with an eye attached wiggling around and looking every which way constantly. For me it’s becoming clearer that is not “one dream” but the accumulation of all the dreams that make it a fun ride.  I am not the one “good eye”.  

I am the “crazy eyes”...........................looking everywhere all at once.

I rode to yoga early thinking my long way ride #3 would get me there at the normal time. I must have been “bookin” because I  had a chance sit out in the rain for almost an hour before class. I watched the doves goofing around and a new set of humming birds fighting over the feeder that just was installed. I also noticed a slew of new lizard babies everywhere so I knew their nest were close by. Rain drops, bird sounds, drip….drip….drip……from the roof repairs that have still not happened.  It was definitely a Zen moment. This then got me thinking about the Daruma and the gent he was modeled after. “Wall watcher” (for 9 years !!) as well as the “Father of Zen”……..for whatever reason I think this is hilarious “Father of Zen”…LOL……….GMAB!...........as I watched the wall across the street ......

My “wa” was soon broken as students began arriving for class. One stopped and chatted and I learned that he had quit his corporate job to pursue a dream that recently become aware of. I applauded him (literally) and offered words of celebration for his new venture.  

Of course there is some trepidation with any new venture, particularly leaving the corporate nest to venture out on one's own, but I loved that he took the risk, bet the farm and signed up anyway. 

I am such a HUGE fan of dreamers !

4 Granted

Vision Quest Series                                               "I met a Girl in France"                                                           c-2003

4 Granted

I had an appointment this morning on the north end of town and left early to get there on time, as I was unfamiliar with the area. I had packed the camera, laser and my “site bag” late last night in preparation of doing some field measures (if required). Traffic was crazy and there were also toll charges so I was glad I brought $ as I rarely carry any unless I know I’m shopping for something these days. Simpler and “lighter”; particularly when I rarely drive anywhere and just bike everywhere these days.

Meeting went very well. The home and site are very workable and the Owners are anxious to implement some changes toward transformation. What I really liked, beside the number of dogs they had was that one set of parents live with them. Like is too mild a word , I LOVED that their folks lived with them. Old Country Traditions;   SOLID as a ROCK !!

I took a slew of interior shots and as I went outside to take more photos of the site and exteriors my body mis-understood my standing in the hot humid weather and thought it was in a Bikram Class. Sweat Faucets went to full ON before I knew it and well…………..so much for an nice ironed dress shirt and slacks (note to self).

Traffic on the way home was as heavy as going and I was reminded how much I hated my daily commute of 150mi for so long…..not so long ago.  I was reminded how great our neighborhood is and that is something have actually taken 4 Granted.  

I followed up with my appointment. when I returned home and was happy to find that I had time to make it to 4:30 yoga. Although it was raining like crazy I loaded up my bike and headed out in the wet and actually made good time. Friday afternoons can sometimes be “iffy” because folks behind the wheel think it’s already the weekend but thankfully everyone was on good behavior.  Class was good and hot and I my yoga buddy of yesterday was there so we chatted a bit before and after class which was nice.

Many of our classes have a number of folks who attend for medical reasons.  Everything from simple injuries to really bad cancer and all in between. They show up and attend classes and do their best.  I overheard a conversation between a few folks listing all of their medical conditions, medicines, side effects and overall quality of life. These folks are younger than I am and thought to myself “Wow, how blessed are you that your body is strong and healthy?”. “SO blessed”, I answered myself, particularly after taking it 4 Granted for over half a century.

Edy, (my love) is having her Birthday today in Taos and mine will arrive tomorrow. It's a bummer that we are not together but we will be soon. We both spend a lot of time giving thanks, listing and voicing gratitudes daily and even hourly, particularly when we are together. It’s a strong practice of affirmation that keeps the compass heading in the right direction. As I rode home today in the rain from class, legs pumping and lungs working hard, I suddenly began thinking that an hour between gratitudes feels way too long.

Fundamental Constants

3 Atoms Series                                                          "Water Wiggle"                                                                       c- 2011

Fundamental Constants

It’s been a whirlwind couple of days around here since I returned from Taos. Meetings,  meetings and more meetings. Then research, drawing, revisions, specifications in the evenings and then throw in some yoga everyday and voila’ it’s already the next day……all over again.

It was nice to re-hydrate after spending time in the high desert but the whirr of an AC system will never compare to the chorus of voices and Big Love I just left. So, I keep my head down and keep moving the ball toward the goal line.

Last night after yoga I returned home and continued some research on available grant monies for a potential LEED project I was asked to look at. Most of the Fed $ has already been allocated and the remaining is being let competitively, so it’s a tight arena for folks trying to get a sliver of free pie before it’s all gone.  “So much for incentives”, I said to no one as I continued my search.

I took a break to eat dinner and invited The History Channel (H2) to dine with me. The dinner guests were expounding on the beginning of the Universe and if there was a GOD that created it, or if it was series of coincidences. One “fact” I found quite interesting as they outlined the Fundamental Constants that were required to align precisely to create what we now have before us, was that if the constants were off by one quintillionth (all the grains of sand on every beach on earth minus one) we’d be screwed. Either the universe would expand too fast OR collapse into a vast black hole.  That’s quite precise in my book.

They then went on to discuss “extra dimensions” (a topic I am a big fan of) parallel universes, string theory and other stuff…..I finished my meal and did not even excuse myself, I just turned them off and went back to work. As I was seeking free gold for my potential client, I thought a lot about what other less cosmic fundamental constants exist in my daily life. A long time ago I heard a guy say that the base requirements for being a human being were to love and be loved / be useful and be needed. As I look back I agree that these are indeed base requirements, really base.

What about just “being”?

This is pretty new to me because I have spent so many years “doing” and then “doing more” but I have become aware lately how I feel around certain people when they do nothing but “be”; nothing else.

This was my experience of the past weeks in Taos. Primarily with Edy, then H&F and then certainly with L1 & L3.  Sure sometimes we’d get into “deep discussions” or “light discussions” and there was some “doing” but the depth of unconditional love I felt in their home along with my love Edy was not action based , it just was. A Fundamental Constant.

I got a call a few minutes ago from one of my yoga buddies. He was just touching base and catching up on stuff since our last conversation mid-summer. He has become recently engaged and with that came a “bonus” of an adult son who he cares for deeply. He shared with me a story of performing a simple act of caring where-by his “son” became so moved that he expressed from a very deep place “how glad he was to have him in his life”. I was very touched and honored to have him share this with me and we both agreed that we have been truly blessed to have selected such wonderful women in our lives to open our hearts wider and wider than we ever thought possible.  “What are the odds?” I thought as I hung up the phone.

”Humm??, I’m guessing about one in a quintillionth”

Original Eyes

Original Eyes

The Taos gang, Edy and I took off yesterday morning to go and visit “Daddy” on one of his current projects deep in the mountains of Northern NM. We picked up a bucket of the Colonel’s Finest with all the fixins and made the trip north from the high desert to the even higher mountain top elevations. As we drove Edy asked me if I remembered how beautiful this part of the globe was and I responded that I was seeing it this day with my Original Eyes and “YES”, it remains stunningly beautiful.

As we drove through town we passed several of the projects that never happened, office complexes we  were going to buy , more projects that never happened and north toward more land we were going to buy……..At the time these all felt like such disappointments, failures and thwarts, but as we drove north with the blue-ist of blue sky above us and a mini-van full of love, excitement and the smell of biscuits I felt such a sense of relief that it was hard to put words to. Actually, if you’ve ever had a narrow miss with a car or deer on the highway that sent you into an instant panic mode and then survived it …………..It’s the feeling directly afterward I am referring to…………………”Whew x1000”!!!  ……and then a few moments after that come the “Thanks!”, and then the new (re-newed?) paradigm of life from that moment forward. It seems that with each trip back here the jolts of awareness subside further into a dreamlike state of other lives and times. And as those jolts of energy wane, my Original Eyes return.   

Our drive took us past rushing rivers, colorful craggy outcroppings of mountains and scenery that at each turn required an entire roll of “mental film” to capture it all. After 45 minutes, we crested a hill and pulled off to answer the call of nature and L1 and I walked down toward the sound of flowing water to recycle some of our own on some stands of Ponderosa. “Pretty here isn’t it, Bud?” I asked him…He took his time looking around and said ”Yes”.  We just stood in silence and watched the white water for a bit before heading back to the van. It was a “half a roll moment”.

The scenery kept getting better and better as we approached “the project” and parked. “Daddy” was inside putting the finishing coats of clear on some full timber beams in the cabin he is restoring. It’s a cool project with spectacular views and he has done a really fine job of bringing the place together. We all stood around enjoying the “bucket of bird” while the boys explored the progress made since their last visit and I got my 1^st tour. Being one who is blessed with loving what I do for “work” allows me to appreciate and respect others who have the same passion. “Daddy” showed me around and pointed various details he was proud of and voiced some of the challenges that he faced during the project and I could “feel” his pride. He has done a great job and the pride is certainly warranted. One thing about his line of work is that you get to “see” the results of each individual task and “feel” the product of days and tasks combined. The place “felt good” to us all.

As we cleaned up the inside picnic area, the ladies took seats at the edge of the cliff overlooking the river while L1 and L3 began instinctively picking wild flowers to “present” to the ladies of their lives. Mexican Poppies of Orange/Pink, Blue Bachelor Buttons, Purple and Yellow Asters and various other yellow, white multi-colored flowers were gathered as acts of love and presented with deep reverence. Gleeful voices could be heard in the distance as new territory was explored and new colorful stands of goodness were discovered.  

We packed up as it began to sprinkle and made our way back down the mountain into the nearest town for a stop at the “Candy Store” to gather some goodies from their vast selection of old and new favorites. The stop was a success and the ride home was quiet and mellow as energy levels had been drained in the higher elevations, despite occasional sugar spikes. Shafts of sunlight acted as key lighting for stands of golden chamisa and aspens that were just starting to pre-mind us of winter’s advance. Grey clouds added contrast to the white ones in the distance and reflections off the asphalt doubled the deep greens and red reds of the mountains and forest on either side of us. 

 

 “Yep” , I thought as we reentered civilization…………..”This really IS a pretty place”.

 

 

Time WILL Tell

My Back Yard Series                                                          Thinking Tree                                                         c-2012

Time Will Tell

I had an opportunity to meet with some folks yesterday to go over their planned project and it was a very positive exchange. It’s a small residential project but has tremendous potential and I have been stoked about it since I first field measured the place earlier in the month. Owners travel a lot and have multiple plates spinning constantly, so it’s taken quite a bit of time to coordinate a meeting. Of course this presented challenges for me because all of my “thoughts” for the place were in place before I packed up my lasers, camera and tape measurers many weeks ago, but that’s my problem and I was happy we met.   In the interim I was able to get all the as-builts done and move the ConDocs forward so even if a change was made yesterday it would be just a matter of adjusting and keep moving forward. Fortunately they too are stoked, so we’re moving forward with full steam.

It’s a cool older home with like most in the development. Houston still has no zoning codes so it is not unusual to have a 30 story hi-rise next to a 50’s ranch, literally. Fortunately this neighborhood was well planned early enough that it is indeed fully residential and is one of the areas I ride through on bike ride #2. There are some challenges in the home which are to be expected but none as critical as the exterior siding. ASBESTOS, yep………ugh. “Hazardous Waste” no matter how you cut it and unfortunately I have to cuts some of it away for the planned work. It’s manageable and fortunately I have been dealing with this stuff long enough that I can easily skip through the hoops and will be tested on this soon.

As I looked again at the siding I thought to myself that this was “State of the Art” material “back in the day”. Fireproof, Weather Proof, Easily cut….etc….Of course now we know that it a major contributor to all kinds of cancers and frankly is a mess. Of course that got me thinking about many of the other “State of the Art” fads and crazes folks (me too) get hooked into. I used to have a LORAN on my boat – Military Grade “State of the Art”……could not give it away once GPS became available. I had rooms of Drafting Tables and “Drawing Instruments” that I also could not give away once CADD became the norm, Then I thought about “Wonder Drugs” but that bummed me out too quickly, then Diet Fads, Safe Cars, Airplanes, Space Shuttles, (Fashion does not count because you KNOW going in that IT is going out)  …..and on and on……………Time WILL Tell how much VALUE anything has………..and most times you won’t even have to wait until ..”the end of the day”………..In YOUR lifetime you WILL know, guaranteed.

I finished up really early with the meeting and went over to the yoga studio to sit on my bench and make my meeting minutes and outline my specs for the work that I planned later in the evening. As I sat and wrote I watched my bird buddies frolic in the communal o-furo next to the gutter; they were having a blast. As I watched I spied a older gent with a little white puffy dog (breed?) and a boy of about 10 walking out of the far buildings and through the parking lot. They were deep in conversation as they turned right and soon left my sight. I continued to write my notes and sketch some structural details I would later plug into CADD and said a quick thank you to the talent gods that I learned how to do this early on as most graduates today would need and electronic appendage to do what I was doing with a #2HB and a notebook.

I head soft voices coming from my blind spot on my left and as they got louder I heard bits and pieces of a conversation which soon became very clear as the three-some from across the street made their circle back in front of me. “Well, they don’t believe in Saints or Mother Mary or many other things we hold true as part of our religion” The (assuming) Grandpa was explaining to the (assuming II) grandson. The young boy was nodding and the “grandpa” continued to explain other things as they continued past until such a point that I could no longer so or hear them. “Good Catholics” I said to myself as I returned to my bird watching. “Bravo to Grandpa too”…………..”And the Grandson too”………..”shoot, and to the puffy dog too for that matter”. “What a pleasant and informative stroll they just had. Yes, Bravo Indeed !”

I cranked until the wee hours on the project and picked it up again early this AM to get it out the door ASAP. I broke for church and yoga and had good experiences at both venues. I was sandwiched in between two of my favorite regulars, one of whom you may remember in that she sings her heart out in her own personal key and the other dances with similar enthusiasm. I was definitely “vibrating” on my way home from there. Yoga was a later class and it was pretty full. Then later, I had a chance to catch up with a fellow yogi I miss because of schedule conflicts and that was a really unexpected perq. We discussed a myriad of topics that all centered around gratitude on varying levels. I like those kinds of conversations.

Well, I’ve been working on the project for quite some time and just wanted to take a break to use another part of my brain before I “get back to it” throughout the night. It feels really good to doing work I enjoy , particularly for folks who also enjoy it. Sometimes I get really bogged down trying to figure out why these “slow periods” come and why they always cause angst? Things always work out just fine and history has shown this to be the case time after time………..Time HAS Told Me This already, and for what ever reason the "reception" seems so much clearer today. 

Simple Twist Of Fate

Simple Twist of Fate

I just about finished my next novel through the early morning hours until I could not keep my eyes open any longer (mission accomplished).  I awoke pretty early anyway and looked out to see that it was grey and rainy. “Ugh” I thought. I got up to get some coffee going and see what happened in the world while was engrossed in the life of the protagonist du’ jour and not paying any real attention. Nothing too exciting was happening in the world that early and the correspondence I was hoping for did not arrive so I slowly felt the clouds enter the apartment right over my head, just like Charlie Brown.

I had a quick FB Txt correspondence with Edy before she had to accompany the gang for the morning school drop offs. That exchange gave me a bit of a nudge in the right direction and I decide to ride the long way to yoga in the rain early to wash off the schmutz that had condensed on me over the preceding few hours.

As I left the building I turned left and went around a bunch of puddles and headed out with determination to be cleansed of this “blah”. As soon as I crossed the busier of the streets the sky cleared and the sun shone brightly on the glistening streets. “Humm?”, I said to myself, “So much for plans”.  As I rode I was surprised at the number of fallen branches and leaves on the ground as well as how fast toadstools can grow in this part of the country. “Wow, must have been some storm” I said to no one at all. I could immediately feel the steam coming off the streets and again said to no one “Ok, Steam bath it will be”.

As I rode near a shopping area I could see a couple with a young child in the distance having a huge argument near the bus stop. I mean HUGE !! At first I thought one of them was being accosted with bags of stuff flying around and arms waiving and mouths open in very red faces. As rode closer I could see that the argument was escalating as arms were flying everywhere and faces were getting redder. As I came upon them I was amazed that they both were deaf and “communicating” their argument totally with arms,legs and mouthing. NO SOUNDS were coming out at all !!!  I slowed a bit as I passed and looked at the little boy who standing near his mom with his head down. He saw me pass slowly as I approached the stoplight and I just eyed him and signaled the universal U-OK? Sign by pointing and making a circle with my thumb and finger. He nodded his head and the “parents” saw me too and started picking up their bags of stuff while the mom put her arm around the boy. “Ugh, I don’t think this is over” I thought as I waited for the “Walk,Walk,Walk” squawker to announce the all clear for the seeing impaired. At that particular moment I wish I was. DELETE DELETE DELETE……No I don’t but it was a hard one to watch.

My cloud from the morning had evaporated just like the vapor ceiling above my head as I reached yoga. Class was super hot and humid and I survived again giving thanks for a body that “keeps on ticking” and excelling in this practice day after day. I rode home feeling pretty good even as the wind shifted and offered a bit of resistance to my forward progress. I made it home quickly and immediately snagged a book to return to the library and just like a NASCAR driver pulled out of the pit stop with wheels smoking.

Traffic was heavier than usual and I was reminded that Fridays are mental half days here and folks are already on their way to the weekend. I changed course and took the residential side streets to the library and avoided any issues. The library was also very busy with kids getting out of school, older folks (like moi’) and many street folks who frequent this particular branch. I found a bag full of books quickly and used the self checkout to expedite my #2 pit stop and return to base.  As I was unlocking my bike a couple of the street folks came by and commented on my “cool bike” and then asked “if I rode a lot?” “Well, this past month I’ve only driven the car once” I said to them both. “I ride everyday about 6 or 7 miles some days more”. They both nodded that that was an acceptable ride and then chatted about some other stuff to each other that frankly did not make too much sense (to me) but they “got it” and waved goodbye as I peddled off.  

As I rode home I was reminded how easy it is to become consumed with the things we want, don’t have or think we need to survive. Way too easy ! So with each peddle stroke home I listed to the heavens all the things I am SO grateful for at THIS MOMENT……………………Healthy Kids/Grandkids , Beautiful Wife, Big Love all around, Healthy Body, All of my limbs, All of my Senses, Extra Senses,  Love, Talent, Opportunity,  Mind, Home, Bike, Yoga, Food, ……………and on and on……….I believe the saying is: “but for the grace of god, go I" which might just might also = “a simple twist of fate”.

The sun felt really good on my face as I wove through traffic………..really good.

Ho-De-Doe

                      Door #3                                            Acama Pueblo                                                                  c- 2006

 

Ho-De-Doe

I devoured my latest novel in record time and started the next one in the wee hours last night. Even with all the TV channels available to us on cable I have a hard time finding anything that “sends me” and enjoy reading more anyway when Edy is gone.

Meetings and communication in general have been slow here in Bayou City, as the majority of the population has left the building or just stays in perpetual siesta during this month. I heard from several folks today that this is “the way it is” here. “Oh, OK then”, I’ll stop pushing so hard and ease up on trying to “pin down” specific times, places dates for meetings to happen and just “siesta-tize” that energy for another day.

During a conversation yesterday with Edy and then another one again later today it dawned on me that all of the greatest “gifts” in life I’ve ever received came when I was really not paying too much attention to anything in particular and just “walked into them” (gifts). Be it personal, business, relationships or just plain insights. The “gifts” happen when I simply walk through a door that has opened in front of me and automatically move into the “next”.  This has gone on all my life yet, I continue to “feel the need” to knock politely, then harder, try the handle,  then pound, then use a battering ram to get in a door that is obviously closed and locked for a reason only to find it’s empty and a lot of time, energy and effort has been expended in the forcing……….for naught, (all over again)…………Go figure?

The latest “dawning” came as I was riding my bike home from yoga yesterday. No need to get into particulars but all of a sudden things Edy has been saying to be for almost a decade now “clicked” , I shifted my thinking just a half a degree and wooooosh all of a sudden I was through the door of a new paradigm and into a new reality. Now realize, I have been forcing, reading, seeking counsel and questioning these ways of being for almost 10 years; but as I was peddling in the hot sun after sweating like crazy person for 90 minutes, the door that has been opened for me so long ago was no longer in front of me,  it was now behind me and I was in a mentally “new place for the very first time”.  I was in a state of ….wow !

I am blessed to have such a wonderful woman like Edy in my life who continued to ho-de-doe open for me for all of these years!. SO Blessed !  I shared my new insights with her and I could feel her arms relax a bit from 1500 miles away as they must be very tired from holding that particular door open for so long. As I continue to settle in to these new “dawning’s”    I am reminded of other times when the door was open just a fraction of a second or opened very slowly and for whatever reason at THAT time, I chose to “walk through” to the next.

I’ve been attending a Men’s meeting across the street for several weeks now and really enjoy it.  For almost 30 years I’ve attended other Men’s meetings but they are nothing like these. Demographics are as diverse as the globe and the shared passion for understanding and betterment permeates the room and their daily lives. While I was there I wished that all the men and boys in my life could enjoy such comrades and send that wish out as intention. I realize that everyone in life has their own path and must take their own steps but sometimes it is just so nice to walk into a new place without even knowing doors were in anyway involved.

This is my wish.

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 



No More Second Hand GOD

Cheezy Tourist Shots                                                  Ranchos #16                                                                c-2007

No More Second Hand God

I awoke with high expectations for the day. I had planted a number of business seeds last week and I was certain that today I was going to get to see a little green poking through the top of the soil; or at least get a phone call. By 11am phones were silent and inboxes for emails were deserted. “Hum”, I thought as I prepared to leave for yoga, “Is it really gonna be another one of those days?”

As I rode to class I thought about Monday mornings in the corporate world and how it would always take until late Tuesday or Wednesday for me to get answers on things from those folks, as they needed to ramp back up and my days were 24/7; in that I owned the place and had the luxury of spending nights-weekends-holidays cranking stuff out for the sake of “progress”. 

Class was good with one of our favorite instructors and I spent time afterward going over the Scope of Work I had put together for the Owner with several contractors. Most of the work is required because of poor workmanship by previous contractors so I spent a lot of time going over details and more details  written, graphic and “in the attic” where the temperature was deadly.

One of the good things about my training was that I learned from really talented folks who knew how to do it right and only do it once. I am cursed with an inherent “?really?” meter so if something smells fishy with a proposed solution I can generally sift through it until I “feel” where the potential problem will lie down the road and address it early on. Having to warrant my own work for years has honed this skill.

As I rode home I thought of the structure shown in the photo above. Saint Francis of Assisi – Ranchos de Taos,NM  (the most painted/photographed church in North America). It was first built in the 1500’s then burned a bunch of times and this one built in the 1700s – Every year the parishioners all gather as a community and mix adobe and straw and the women of the group apply it by hand all over the exterior surfaces. They do it once (a year) and do it right. Their neighbors across the mountain in Penasco got lazy a decade or so ago and got talked into applying a latex based surfacing agent over their adobes. It looked GREAT on the outside for year after year until one weekend the entire south side collapsed. Then the east and west walls caved in. It appears that the latex held in the moisture and would not let it escape and we all know from our Southwestern Construction Algebra that moisture(m) x (a) adobe=MUD/YIKES…………Kind of gives a whole other meaning to “Holy Sh%^ !!”.  Needless to say the parishioners in Penasco now pray in trailers. Children’s Children will be atoning for that one and all will be forgiven from above but the bigger question will be “did they learn anything?”  I try not to get into those debates but sometimes I do enjoy being a spectator.

I returned home to find “nada” on the phone or the inbox. “Yep, it IS one of those days” I said out loud.  I took the time to “converse” with Edy via FB-Txt and do a bit of research on some things I had not gotten to last week. While doing research I was reminded of one of my favorite author/thinkers and a poem he wrote in 1940. His entire book is fascinating but the title poem has always stuck with me and I'll share a small part of it for you:

No More Second Hand GOD.

“Here’s to verbs !”