Lunation Series                                                              Polaris and the Medicine Wheel              c-2006

….only when I laugh….

I’m in clean out mode again.

Still too much stuff left over from past lives and the thrilling days of yester-year and it’s taking up space for my bike.

As you know, I’m a big fan of Hermann Hesse who wrote of “those ever seeking perfumes of the past.”   I got that when I read it decades ago and held on tight to all the possessions I could as long as I could, until they no longer served me. I only have a few things left from the Taos days; a few bits of art, some carpets and old 35mm cameras. All smelling not like perfume but as road kill on my path toward the future. It’s time to clean out a bit more, because I need the air and elbow room.

I keep a lot of archival photos and have been rummaging through them trying to catalog as best I can.  I ran across some of the photos of our old galleries and studio both in MA and NM felt a twinge of both pride and sadness as I saw how beautiful the spaces and items were and then remembered how they “evaporated” either via the Dumpster or via Fire Sales. I think the 80/20 rule applies quite well here with Waste Mgmnt as the “winner.”…..ouch, It still hurts a bit to remember those times!

I had a brief exchange with a gent today about one of the items I was selling and during the conversation he reminded me of the old saying about “Man Plans and God Laughs” which seems to be coming up a lot lately. I take these coincidences seriously and have been feeling into them a bit more all day.

It seems to me that the best times I have ever had came not from “planning” but from “choosing” a path when presented to me. This goes contrary to the way I was trained and have lived my life up until now with PhD’s in Strategic Planning, Master Planning and Self Improvement Planning, 5 year plans, 10 year plans, not to mention the actual planning and plans that go into a project or multiple projects…..go figure?

I used to consider myself a Comprehensive Anticipatory Design Scientist (another hat that is retired) and built a hugely successful Empire on that philosophy for a few decades. That was then.

In fact as I write, I can’t think of a single “Strategic Plan” that actually went the way it was “planned”.  Sure, GOALS were reached and OBJECTIVES were met but somewhere along the line a phone call or introduction or “chance meeting” would occur and the plan was instantly obsolete.

So, as I sit here on New Year’s Eve waiting for 2012 I am planning …………………squat.

The things we set in motion for SAFFRON many years ago are happening and happening fast despite whatever perceived set-backs we thought we were experiencing. I resolve to keep my eyes up and available for choices, as opposed to staring at plans that eventually become cosmic comic strips.  

As “They” say…………”You’re right on schedule…………..and it’s not yours” ……

Happy New Year !!

Home Sweet Home

                               Home Sweet Home Series                                                                    Little Angels #4     c-2009

Home Sweet Home

Edy and I arrived back home from Taos yesterday after a wonderful Xmas visit. The flight out was an early one so we left before 2am to get to the airport on time. The stars were beautiful as we made our way south in the cold morning. Edy got a good view of a lovely falling star on her side of the car.  I missed it.

The flight was full of other bleary eyed travelers and we all suffered “auditory molestation” from the woman sitting in front of me all the way back…….. SERIOUSLY !!    2 straight hours of “knowing everyone” and “everything” on the planet !!!  I will thank her though when my new patented device is worth ga-zillions $$$ - Noise Canceling Headphones WITH a Taser Function. I’m sure you’ll see them online soon.

It was bitter/sweet to return home. It was good to be back but sad to be sans-kids (all ages) . It’s a conundrum we are slowly learning to deal with. Although we are forging a new life here, we struggle with the geographic distance and the ability to “drop in” or have them “drop over”. Basically, we want it all !!

As I write I hear nothing but the click,click of my fingers poking on the keyboard.

Hold, it there goes a car...... and I hear the whirr of the fan above my head. Contrast this with several days of extreme activity, multiple ongoing conversations along with a constant “show and tell”. All part of an ambient noise cloud that was the “norm”. Things have changed.

I guess we’re in a re-entry mode right now. Still some unpacking to do and I feel a “to do list” brewing.   No wonder I feel so lethargic.

Jul Tide Celebration

Jul Tide Celebration

Christmas time in the south is a lot different than anyplace else I’ve ever been. It’s subtle and if not for the Green and Red Decorations, ever present Muzak and “cha-ching” of cash registers, it would most likely go unnoticed. I grew up with this so it feels pretty familiar.  Syzygy makes this year even “special-er”.

Folks in the south are for the most part friendly and jovial all the time and during this time of year they just ramp it up a bit more. “Ya’ll have a wonderful Holiday, hear!! “  For example, our neighborhood grocery store had live Christmas Music to go along with all the “elves” working the aisles and registers today.  Sure wish we had kids along to share that with.

While out on my morning bike ride I noticed that everyone who owned a Bentley, Rolls Royce, Mazerrati or Ferrari was out and about “on a mission”. Be it shopping, posing or truly “on a mission” I really couldn’t tell; they were purposeful though, that much I gathered. Could be “cocktails” are involved too, but, hey, who am I to judge, 1%ers need Holidays too.

Edy and I both had our own “missions” earlier in the day and rendezvoused for lunch at a new Thai place we found. It was a prefix’ buffet and truly quite forgettable.  The restaurant was in an adjoining neighborhood we like (for those of you who track it’s bike route #1) There were numerous Rockwell-ian scenes to and fro. Everyone seemed to be of good cheer for this Christmas Eve-Eve.  College kids uncomfortably happy to be back with parents, small kids thrilled to be with Grammys and one family all gathered around watching a small girl swinging on a huge oak while her sister played with the family dog. It could not have been staged for Disney any better. We both looked at each other at the same time and gave an ……”ugh”.

We’re packing up to go visit the Taos Gang which is always fun.  It seems that they are creating their own traditions for their family (as they should) and we’re happy to be a part of them.  We also have many fond memories of Holidays past including some in New Mexico and are ready to help create even more new ones because, as I said Syzygy makes this year even “special-er”.

Whack

                              Frozen Whisper Series                                                           Mountain  #5         c- 2006

Whack

Edy and I are “whack”.

At 11am this morning we were in a movie theater watching Sherlock Holmes.

Why ?   Because we CAN !!  The 24plex is a block away and we can see movies whenever we want and by golly we do too. I could not bring myself to order a Medium Combo for breakfast but enjoyed the flick. We love our neighborhood.

We then scooted out beyond “the reservation” for lunch at our new favorite deli and noshed on Latkes, Hash and Smoked fish until we were busting. With our new found energy we felt  the urge to shop a bit and braved a couple of stores with successes in each.  By then we were exhausted and headed back to the ranch to “chill” a bit.

Perhaps decades of hamster wheels and children have caught up with us. Or, perhaps we’re just lazy, Frankly the why doesn’t really matter. When I used to travel for a living I would take any and all opportunities to nap for a minute or two on flights and while on layover.  Experience had taught me that to NOT snooze meant I’d lose at every corner when the unforeseen issues of a project or the next destination would come up.  All nighters were standard issue for years and my sleep deficit will last well past when I’m dead (so as to make death also quite efficient) .

These past several months have had their intensity and their lulls as our new projects come together. It's been a new experience to ride the wave instead of riding the rails. This current lull during the Holiday Season is an indicator that the “timing is perfect” for NEW things to come together right after the 1^st of the year. We’ll be ready.

So for now we rest and enjoy the light of the candle that remains 2011. We give thanks for all the blessings received and for those yet to come.  We’ll use those last flickers of next week to start a new one for 2012 and get ready for the ride of our lives, all over again.
Yep, we’re whack !

Just not that Important

                               Lunation Series                                                                        Winter Solstice 2008                           

     

Just not that Important

It was a cold morning when I headed out on Route #2 for the daily bike ride. I made a stop at Goodwill on the way and dropped off a bag Edy had put together. They were doing a booming business.

There were lots of folks out and about on the roads and sidewalks on a part of the route I took. One young gent was still in his pajamas as he shuffled along the sidewalk in the most upscale neighborhood in our city. Probably out for a “smoke” because the parents would not let him light up in the parlor and muss the holiday potpourri. I made it to my round about and circled back for the return leg of the ride, it was smooth as silk.

Edy and I then came up with a plan to go to the local market, grab lunch and then go to a museum we’ve not visited before. While in line at the Deli Counter, an older gent approached us to “chat”. In the three minutes we conversed we learned that he was super rich, brilliant, Jewish, Chemical Engineer, Loved Food and had lived in Isreal,Spain,NYC and here since 1975. Did I mention he was brilliant and rich ? He also has a Mexican wife and a Polish ???? who both cook things he likes. He is fond of the deli here because the give good “samples” and he wished they would hurry up because his chauffer was waiting and that was costing him “big money”.  The poor guy was buzzed but hey, it’s the 2^nd day of Chanukah – Party on.

We ordered salads and sat in the dining area of the place because it was a bit cool outside next to two ladies also with salads. One lady (the suit) was telling the other lady (the workout suit) about how “she told her” sister to re-plan her Xmas plans because they were not convenient for her. She then went on to take a few calls and ask us for a pen because she had to “do a conference call” and did not have a pen. Her friend had come and gone twice during the other calls and darn it, she did not have a pen either; Some friend ! Eventually they “figured out” that while one was getting an email about what number to call for THE call,  the other would use her phone to take dictation and relay it back. I’ll bet anything lunch was Dutch.

As I finished my salad I remembered my years in “that club” and said a silent blessing for my emancipation. It feels really good to have worked my whole life to achieve the coveted title of “Un-important”.

We then made our way through the store gathering dinner stuff and goodies for certain small boys we will be visiting soon and went to the Menil Museum which was just a couple of miles down the street.  http://www.menil.org/

The Museum itself was beautiful and the exhibits superb. We walked and gazed. Walked some more and looked at beautiful things together and then did a quick tour of the grounds agreeing we’d return later because, well,  it felt important.

Affliction=Tensegrity

Affliction = Tensegrity

Every day at SAFFRON Group is just another science experiment.

We’re all brainaics in our own right and can easily turn a few minutes of conversation into months or years of research with our various ponderings.

The other morning Edy and I were discussing geometry, particularly triangles.  

We were delving into the various “laws” and spent a lot of time discussing the sum of the angles. We then side-bared into a discussion of Tensegrity  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tensegrity which brought us back to group dynamics and another side-side bar about relational triads.

We’re finding that relationships of threes occur in many if not most of the organizations/groups we are involved with and also within our own family. ….ie…Design works with Sales and Construction in a different way than Construction works with AP and HR as one example. When the principle of Tensegrity is introduced into the mix, it becomes pretty apparent (pilfered graphic above) that Construction,Sales,Design (lower triangle) can easily communicate freely with AR,HR,AP (upper triangle) via the semi-rigid elements (green) within their own groups.    The connecting red flexible fibers in this case represent “exchanges” between groups. This could be manpower, money, communication…….anything that is not a constant or rigid. So, we quickly see that the green Elements are in Compression while the Red Elements are in Tension.  Therefore if pressure is placed on one part of this particular structure the corresponding Green Element becomes more compressed while the Tension on the adjoining Red Element becomes even more tense………………Are you with me so far ?

Remember we're discussing Corporations and Groups and believe me I realize that a certain GOP Candidate feels differently, but indulge my stretch here in saying that they are made up of people but are NOT people. So, for the sake of this example we break it down to just the people (green). The lower triangle could represent communication and the upper triangle could represent funding or anything else. (if you insert your family here you could have a field day)  Pressure on one member causes tension and compression which impacts but does not break the structure because it is distributed across the other members with various degrees of energy. The point is that the STRUCTURE does not collapse because of single points of pressure. In fact multiple points of pressure only make the whole thing stronger as long as the unit remains intact. It’s the basis of Geodesic Domes.

Now let’s cut the red fiber and try and stand the three Green things up to build something, anything.  Go on build something !!!……………Perhaps with ONE green thing…OK add another…or all three……hum, thought so.  Sure you could roll them or tie them into a fence but you have lost the “energy” to ever create a thing that could withstand the slightest pressure.

Hermann Hesse once wrote of “those afflicted with an extra dimension”.

At SAFFRON we’ve got it bad....... and I don’t think it’s going to clear up anytime soon.

Check Please !

Check Please!

I rode my bike directly into the wind this morning all the way to the Acupuncture Clinic to get some herbs for allergies and inflammation in my Achilles tendon which seems not to want to heal fully despite almost a year of pampering.  Headwinds are both a blessing and a curse. Blessing because they cool me off, curse because of the additional energy required to keep up speed. One of the Drs was there to assist in her always cheerful manner. I then proceeded down a busy boulevard toward Rice University, coming in from the back side of usual path I take.

My destination was a particular women’s shop I like to get a little something for Edy for Xmas. The ladies were helpful and I found what I wanted quickly. I warned them before entering that I was “fragrant” from my ride and that I’d be fast. They chuckled but reached for the Glade anyway as I was leaving.

Rain was forecast for all of today and I was sure that I was going to get wet going home. I was glad the bag I had Edy’s gift in was waterproof and tied snugly to the tail of the bike as I worked my way back. Edy was home when I arrived and I was able to take a shower while she was on the phone which meant no “down time”. We decided to go for lunch and then perhaps try the Museum (again) and headed out.

The 1^st lunch place was closed so we went to “Plan B” and headed north. The second place was pretty crowded with lunching ladies, business types and a family with 2 small girls who we were seated next to.

The “Dad” was haranguing the girls about something when we were seated. Edy and I looked over at them and then stared at each other as the mother then went into a big dissertation (with volume) about “why” "we discipline little girls"," to give them wonderful opportunities", “like” ….and then went on to talk about the special cooking classes these young girls (4 & 6) could take with “Carlos” IF they behaved……………..ugh.

I try really hard to NOT police the planet (anymore).

I now leave my aluminum bat in the closet so I am not tempted to “DINK” folks such as these. Edy was brilliant in her stealth as she grabbed her pocketbook and feigned a “powder my nose” exit. I then followed and we were re-seated at a corner table far from the DeVille Family.   

Nichoise Salads were good but lacked olives, we both had lost our appetites and had to work to get them back with a few “primer bites”…………Conversation was nonexistent.

As I looked around the room while cutting up my haricots vert I eyed table after table of lunchers, lawyers, ladies, lovers, lushes, losers and lackeys. .............

DINK,DINK –pause- DINK, -pause- DINK, -pause- DINK,DINK.

Morse Code Justice.

“Check please” !

Hustle and Flow

Hustle and Flow

Just got in this evening from a nice Portuguese meal at a place around the corner we always forget to visit because it's just too obvious. It’s a tapas place; we had it to ourselves and sampled several nice plates of goodies while assorted not so great variations of Xmas music played in the background.  It was mellow until one of the waiters started screwing around with his ringtones and then other patrons started arriving and messing with our wa.

Earlier in the day Edy and I planned to go out for brunch and tour a museum we’ve not seen.  By noon the plans were being re-thunk and by 4pm they we’re being re-vised in their entirety.  It was a textbook example of the old Yiddish saying about Man Planning and GOD laughing.
At 1pm Man was not laughing, I assure you.

I spent the morning cleaning out some old project files. There was stuff in there from 2004 I no longer needed and a bunch of outdated manufacturer literature that had to go to make room for new.  While purging, I ran across a bunch of older misfiled information that reminded me of when my offices flooded due to a huge water line break. I just happened to be there when it happened and had 3 minutes to grab anything that mattered and haul butt out of there. I grabbed my kids photos and a server and ran down 3 flights of stairs to the parking lot and got the kids out of there because the building was going to implode. It didn’t collapse then but it was definitely a game changer for me from that point forward.  As it turned out it took another 10 years for a tornado to finally take the building out. This may seem small, but the building was built in 1860 and had withstood floods, fires and other storms. It seems that this particular decade proved to be too much for the old girl and she just caved.  

I’m sure most of us have benchmarks we point to in our lives of places or events that were pivotal in moving us in directions not previously even on the radar. Turning points, some might call them.  For me, one important one was that flood. It had actually begun earlier with re-thinking a lot of things but to see 25+ years of “everything” go in a few minutes was hard to take. It was a foreshadowing of harder days to come.

I have worked since I was 8 mowing lawns and such and 40+ hour weeks since I was 15. It always felt good to hustle new work and amass the goodies that came with jobs well done. Multiple homes, boats, cars, art, stuff all felt like it was a direct manifestation of my hustling and provided security for the future. The flood took away some of my most prized positions and other subsequent natural disasters took most of the rest. I really began to rethink possessions in a big way from that point forward. A friend pointed out once that we only rent "it" all anyway, so ownership is an illusion.  Ah-so desu neh'.

So, going through old papers reminded me of how freeing now it is (for me) to be unburdened by “stuff”. I strongly feel that something caved in me with the flood that pointed my hustling in a more purposeful direction. What exactly that is I honestly still don’t know yet, because although the flood is long past, I’m still in the flow.

SO, sorry

So, sorry

It was a cloudy and cool morning as I rode toward downtown on one of my 3 favorite bike routes. All of the monster mansions had their worker bees out trimming, blowing and cutting in preparation of the holiday parties that were certainly happening this weekend. Streets were jammed and at 10am folks were already impatient as they zigged and zagged to gain an inch or two. I worked my way through them without a hitch.

I had an espresso at the national coffee house and made my way back to the house in record time. Edy arrived within minutes and we commenced to enjoy a lunch together. As mentioned, Edy spent yesterday making a number of Indian Veggie dishes and we enjoyed them again today. The roasted beets in olive oil and herbs were so good you could “rub them in your hair”, as my Cajun friends say. The other dishes were equally as good. Man, I love good food !

A few years ago I did a few projects in and around Mexico City. The air almost killed me but the food was always outstanding. I don’t drink, smoke or eat red meat so “kicks keep getting harder to find” for the past 30+ years.  When I told this to my new friends in Mexico they all looked at me as if I only had a week to live. We’re so sorry for you senior’, SO sorry. That was before they saw my face when the broiled fish arrived at the table. Ahhh…..simple pleasures, with bones.

When traveling I remember landscapes, structures, flora, fauna, colors and smells and always, ALWAYS the food.  Sometimes when I have a hard time sleeping I drift in and out of food dreams , listing all the memorable meals and dishes just like a cartoon character marooned on a desert island.  Baked octopus in Portugal, Dancing Prawns in Tokyo, Huitlacoche in Mexico and one of my favorites Nicoise Salad IN Nice with Edy…………….and the list goes on.

I was born in Kansas to folks who simply ate to survive. Little pleasure was derived from preparation or consuming. It was just another “meal”. As I was introduced to the “world” of food and ways of cooking growing up and in my travels I began to develop an “insatiable appetite” (pun intended) to know more and more about different cultures, their foods and customs. Believe me when I tell you that the first time I had black truffles blew my mind and it’s been a palette quest ever sense.

Edy and I play the “whats for dinner” game quite a bit and I’m glad we’re doing more cooking at home. The atmosphere is pleasant, music is nice and it gives me a chance to fully enjoy the one pleasure on earth I love more than the meal. Her.

Let the Good Times Roll

Let the Good Times Roll

I awoke to a rainy morning here with thunderstorms in the forecast for the whole day, setting my mood.  I’m pretty spoiled with the weather here and was working on a “Plan B” during my 2^nd cup of coffee when I looked out and saw a touch of blue peeking through the clouds near home. Alright, Game ON !

I’ve had three projects I’ve been avoiding and today was THE day to get them done. One was finding my ski clothes in the storage closets we have here (or go back to the other unit – which would take 4 or 5 hours) #2 was a simple TV mount for a LCD we wanted off the dresser the other is the hanging of a 150# mirror. Task #1 required unloading storage closets and digging through storage bins, Task #2 was simply waiting until I could find the mount I wanted for a price I felt was fair. Task #3 was a bit more involved because it requires lumber and taking the mirror down off the other dresser where I placed it when it arrived (unfortunately, scratching the new finish in the process –Another task for another day to repair).

With the exception of the storage closets, I was determined to ride my bike to all the stops as I’m pretty much on a daily regime now. It feels really good to “get out and peddle” after decades of sitting on my butt, behind computers, in cars, or on airplanes. Daily rides are in the 8 to 10 mile range, certainly not Armstrong-esque but enough to get things moving.

When I was 13-14 I used to ride my bike to school and work 9 miles each way. Sometimes I’d do it more than once a day when I had to work at night at a newspaper “stuffing” sections through the night for early morning delivery. Fortunately it was just every 2 days as it made for long school days, but at least it got me out of the house, which was all I cared about.  Must be some muscle memory at play today to bring it all up again.

I had been thinking about the ski clothes for days and was able to go right to them in 5 minutes this morning. Success !! I don’t have fenders on my bike so I was spitting road spritz all the way to the lumber yard. As I pulled up next to all the Big Dude Pick-up trucks I took a spot right next to the entrance to keep an eye on my “wheels”. The front of the store was old fashioned and I immediately knew I liked the place, mostly because it was NOT a “big box”. The sentry/cashier at the front desk was very helpful and pointed to a scrap pile in the back for my 1x8. She also said she’d “watch my bike for $5”.  I walked through the yard to the back and sure enough, they had just what I needed. I gave a guy $5 to cross cut it to my required length, “No man” !! he said as I gave him the money.”Merry Xmas”, I said, “It really helped me a lot” . On my way out I asked the woman what I really owed her for the lumber and she just smiled and said “Merry Xmas”! “What about watching the bike ?“, I asked. “Honey, you go and have yourself a fine day”, she replied. “Hum, think I will” I said to myself as I strapped down 3ft of wood off the back tail.

Obtaining the TV mount required more “busy street riding” than I usually like but with I made it to Costco in good time. I parked in my “usual spot” and was waived in by a “card checker” who recognized me from previous visits. The unit I wanted was in stock and checkout was a breeze. Bungees secured my stack of valuables and the ride home was a bit dryer.

When I got home Edy was in the kitchen cooking. Man it smelt SO good - Indian Veggies, yum !!! She also had Holiday Tunes playing in the background. She looked happy and I could swear I heard a bit of humming coming from the kitchen as I set up my tools.

Task #2 also went quickly and I was surprised that the mount I bought will also accommodate a larger screen which I definitely feel we need after mounting the existing one. I decided to put Task #3 off until tomorrow because I will take Edy up on her offer of help.  Why not keep the good times rolling?

….AND Damned if ya don’t….

….AND Damned if ya don’t….

Edy and I took a long ride west yesterday to a storage unit we have with all our remaining stuff in it. It was kind of depressing on a lot of different levels.

For me it was just a reminder of the remaining stuff that has to “go” because it no longer serves me and for Edy,  well,  it was at it’s best a dusty mess that needed Purell to start to clean off the “schmutz” it left on us as we drove back home.

We’re of an age that numerous life-times have been experienced in this particular walk and perhaps numerous more will unfold as we move forward. Rolling up an Overhead door and getting a 12x20 time capsule can be a lot to take in. Remembering that we started with 4 – 53ft Semis adds to my rethinking “possessions” in a big way.

Edy forwarded me a cool link today (www.9types.com) . It is based on Enneagrams. Like Astrological Charts the Enneagram defines 9 types of personalities and goes into depth about the particular character traits. I found it quite accurate and very interesting. There is a quick quiz you can take to find your own information.

What fascinated me the most was not only my own “type(s)” but also Edy’s,  and how we relate to each other. Again, like Astrological signs, there are some strong “traits” that define each sign/type and these are the warp threads of a life that can move in and out to form “the person”. Perhaps these warp threads too offer the structure for families, societies, countries….etc………….with the interweaving of all the “individuals” into the tapestry that “is” at any particular time…………. I feel it’s worth investigating further IF we truly want to relate.

A Man with Faults

A Man with Faults

I like a man with faults, especially when he knows it. To err is human — I'm uncomfortable around gods. Hugh Prather


I’m a big fan of quotes. I have a morning reading ritual I’ve practiced for several decades which includes a quote or two and I seem never to tire of them. Some make me laugh, some make me question, and others ………well, I just have to keep reading them until they “click” a few years down the road……or not.


Today was a bit unusual in that Edy and I took a ride out to a potential project north of town on the Interstate. Since I stopped commuting to the Ranch , most of my work is either really close or really far away I don’t travel too much to sites anymore except by airplane (or bike J). So we headed off and had a nice visit with the owner and her “other half” who happened to be a guy I knew from a project over 10 years ago, who along with another gent who was also there were part of the “A team, of yore”. It was a perfect Mercury Retrograde moment.  It seemed we were all part of the New Mexico Diaspora. Not only have we “lived to tell about it”, we have all thrived by being refugees.


Like most Americans, my ancestors were immigrants to the new land with little more than hope and a prayer. Edy’s parents were more recent with the same “moxie” and verve.  We are now seeing more and more Americans shifting and moving around inside the country trying to find a home with enough economic pulse to sustain them and from my own experience, it’s slim pickins at best.


Sure, the economy, manufacturing and industry have all shifted toward China, shoot if I spoke mandarin I’d have 40 ga-zillion jobs now as all the recruiters that still contact me ask that question 1^st.  I have no desire to work in China which by my saying will most likely put me there someday. I do like where we are and have in place some pretty exciting foundational blocks for our life here. We’ll see what sprouts and adjust accordingly.  


First Things First  (quote me)

Indicators

Rusty Philosophy Series                                                Indicator #3                                                           Copyright 2011

Indicators

It was a cool bike ride this morning. Although it was only in the low 50’s the wind was brisk and was glad I wore a wind breaker. I peddled over to Rice University and cruised the lanes and paths avoiding the various campus tours both formal and informal and watched the new students with parents in tow showing off their new home. I then circled the Zoo and made my way back through traffic toward the University.

I like universities and colleges. I enjoy the vibe, the energy and the architecture. It all feels so “mindful”.  When I was in New England I used to be the Liaison for a number of schools via my profession for about 20 years. Although I never “went” to college I was invited to teach a few courses at some of the most prestigious Ivy League Schools in the country. The faculty and students used to get a hoot out of the way I would impart information and how I’d arrive at solutions because I definitely did NOT do it by the book. Sometimes students would come to “interview” me for their senior projects. I’d try to explain to them what a wonderful opportunity they had in going to University and how “Studio Time” was a gift they would only realize in the future as they entered the workplace. Years later I’d get a call from a Jr. Designer in a Firm working 100 hour weeks for little money who would say “Oh, now I get it !”.  Other times I’d hear from one of my interns that a particular professor would say to his class that you can interview any professional in the industry except “that guy” because he did not go to college.  Ouch.

One of my blog buddies used the word ineffable today in his writing. I had to look it up. It’s a great word !  It used to be that I always had a thesaurus and a dictionary next to me at ALL times. Now I have Word/Google and the rest of the internet to “assist” me via my laptop. If I was comfortable that I would not break a smart phone I’d have even more access to “learning”. I read a lot and one of the greatest joys I know is gathering information and gathering and gathering information . Why ? Because I have a huge gaping void needing to be filled which tells me that all of this information is critically important for me. Again why?

While conversing with my buddy about “his word” in the context of faith and religion, I posed the question of all the centuries of prayers and pleas for salvation that lie within the walls of churches or in the rubble of sacred sites. Is it held there? Does it move through? Is it selective?  Certainly all of that “energy” does not escape into the void?....or does It ?

It occurred to me as I rode through Rice this morning that I have the same feelings from places of learning, and the same questions persist.

Going Nowhere, Fast

Frozen Whisper Series                                            "Cold Feet"                                                           Copyright 2011

Going Nowhere, Fast

Edy and I had lunch date today at the Four Seasons. No particular reason, I just wanted to have a “date” with my beautiful wife. Believe me when I tell you that she is always beautiful but today she was stunning !  Atmosphere was mellow – food was good and we had a number of conversations. One in particular revolved around a project I had completed almost a decade ago and another revolved around one that was more recent. We talked about the individuals involved and the ups/downs – in/out of human relationships. I think we also talked about the inside out of relationships too but I have forgotten. As we were getting ready to leave we stumbled on the topic of “speaking your own truth”; neither of us knowing that we’d opened a portal in the universe for the information streams to flow for the rest of the day.

After lunch, we walked across the street to a cool new Ethno-mega grocery store and browsed and chatted more about other parts of the world, good food, hookahs and picked up some goodies for grandkids, kids and home.

The conversation that began at lunch about “truths” and “humans” nagged at me all afternoon and the Imax Screen between my ears played and then re-played a number of scenes from life movies that I’d rather forget. These particular scenes were interactions with people where I was absolutely certain that I was “right” OR the other person was certain they were right, perhaps even more right…………or was it more importantly that we were wronged ?  The details are not important but the “jist” of the flick is that we both had found ourselves “in our truth” , totally stuck there, and going nowhere ……..fast.

Fast talking, fast blaming, fast lawyering-up, fast facts , fast pointing, fast hurt, fast misunderstandings.   absolute PROOF without a shadow of a doubt that we each were absolutely right………and in our truth ………about “what-ever”.  

As one who was born and raised in drama, I’m a sucker for dramatic anything. It feels natural and cozy. It has fueled my success in business because I can sift through all the complicated (anything) and clean it up, organize it and arrange it all in a nice straight line, all the while sniffing the air for the next drama that needs fixing. This is a pattern of behavior and business that I have been trying to shift from for the past several years with minimal success, so far.

As mentioned in previous blogs, I used to be a fighter. Although the gloves retired decades ago the temperament has been slow to get out of the gym.  There is a conflict with the part of me that wants to stand in the middle of the ring and not give an inch and the other part of me that sees the whole engagement as a silly human folly and just wants to LOL.

So Edy and I had occasion to go for a very long walk later in the afternoon to discuss in more depth “stuck places” and “truths”. We also discussed an article we both read about the 5 things people always say on their deathbeds. What we came up with is that WE hold the keys to get ourselves unstuck by simply forgiving. Starting 1^st with ourselves and then moving down the line and filling in blanks with any names we’re still holding on to.   Un-stucking as freeing – what a concept !

Life is moving on fast enough and I really don’t care about “right-ness” nearly as much as I used to. Not to say I don’t struggle with it, I do. So,  Big Deal,  at the end of the day, “I’m right”  OR  “I’m wrong”…………..either way POOF I’m  gone and the scoreboard resets to zero, and life moves on.

Now, For Something Completely Different

      Rusty Philosophy Series                                                                                                 Motherwell #32

Now, For Something Completely Different

Another cool morning here and I decided to put on my maid’s uniform (mentally) and clean the house. We’ve been between housekeepers for a little while now for various reasons centering around the word “dis-satisfaction” so, I decided to devote a couple of hours to it since we both enjoy a “clean house”.

For the most part I am blind to my surroundings, which is odd because of my "profession" (more on this in the future) The exception was when I would come home from the ranch and walk in the front door and notice at once that  “Something” was different.  Was it a  smell, a little sparkle in the bathroom………”something”…..humm???   Until it hit me that it was cleaning day and the cleaners must have just left……………………(unless I could hear them in the other room at which point I refer to the previous paragraph.)

Edy is in charge of all things “home”. In-fact I say with all sincerity that “HOME is where Edy is” and I meant it.  Edy takes care of all the things domestic from budgets to staff coordination including being the spiritual center of our family. It’s a lot considering she has her own full life to attend to and today was a busy day for her.

So, I started with the few things that make me nuts.

Dirty baseboards  and HVAC diffusers. On my knees then up on a ladder. Check. Then on to the dusting, kind of fun actually knowing that all these dust particles will soon be in the Dyson on their way to the dumpster……………wipe down, bathrooms , vacuum, final wipe – Empty the Trash/Recycling – Check

I’m sure a lot of folks find the “Zen Place” in their work or hobbies. Sometimes I struggle with things at work or on a project for hours and days until I find “the groove” and suddenly more hours and days are lost as the “flow” just happens. I used to have a very large “shop” that would open that place quickly and also when sailing the current of “flow” seemed to run without any kinks. Today’s cleaning was like that too. All of a sudden 2 hours had past and I was ready for a well deserved bike ride.

I went for a long ride, it was cool to start but the burn soon warmed me up and I was sweating.

I rode over to a women’s shop I like to pre-view some goodies for Edy for Xmas. I walked in the door and started looking around. The women know me from previous visits and all said “Hi” hoping for a nice sale. “Just on a ReCon mission today ladies”, I said while strolling through the spaces.   I found a number of good contenders for gifts while I went from rack to rack. As I was circling around for another viewing I got a whiff of something most unpleasant………..ME.  “Whoops !”,  I said as I made my way out the door, “Hope you have some incense ? “.  “Sorry to waft my way through your nice lingerie store”,  I said to the manager. They all were polite but I was certain I saw the Nag Champa box through the window coming out of the back as I put my helmet on outside.

I rode the long way to the Market and picked up some flowers and goodies for my wife and rode an even longer way home exploring sights and sounds along the route.

As I arrived home and opened the front door I noticed at once that something was different.

ALLOWING

ALLOWING

Bit of a cold spell outside here this week, I like it. This part of the country has it’s own “special cold” and fortunately it comes and goes so fast before you know it it’s 115 all over again. I’ve been enjoying the crisp energizing bike rides.

I had a few conversations with folks about our projects today and it seems that things are inching forward on their own schedule.  Patience IS a virtue.

I was reminded this morning of my corn farmer days in Taos.

I grew Hopi Corn at 8400+ FT Elev and folks were always surprised when my crop would come in. What they did not know was that I would pamper each seed as it germinated and coddle each and every seedling like a baby chick. When they were planted in the ground another series of compulsive obsessive OCD routines would be employed to ensure good growth and of course collecting the pollen and re-distributing it “appropriately” was all part of the process too.  When harvest time came the "bell of the ball" had her portrait taken. 

I wonder now if I did more harm than good?

Creative Emptiness

Creative Emptiness

Saffron Group is at its core a spiritual organization (not religious) made up of individuals doing their best to work collectively in a spirit of love, unity and a higher purpose.  We all work very hard on ourselves to be sure we are in alignment with these principals.  We’re also humans and there-in lies “the rub”.

As the patriarch of the group I sometimes find myself assuming a lofty position on various matters and offering judgments, life lessons, criticisms and expert advice where it is not needed or welcome. At times I tend to lack any kind of compassion or empathy and simply spout off................................... like it should mean something.

In my old life with projects I used to have a persona I came to call “The General”.

The General was able to get a lot of stuff done, direct men and machines, plan/strategize , make owners and me a lot of money but there was one problem ………..The General was a “Pr#@k” !   Self absorbed, self important and unyielding on anything. Ready, FIRE……………….. Aim !!   I have been working really hard to retire that guy and thought I had him pretty well calmed down as I move toward a different life. He seems calm but other natives between my ears are restless.

We pass around inspirational lectures when one in particular seems timely and Edy forwarded me the one that I used the title for above. It’s a long and deep teaching. It touched me. 

I aspire to be a Holy Man. I strive to rid myself of old limiting belief systems, be more of love, compassion and understanding while aligning myself with GOD. Then, when I attempt meditation, I remember it’s ME.

It was brought to my attention recently that perhaps the best I may ever be is an “Enlightened

A$%hole”.  Perhaps, but I’m not ready to settle for that………………..the void awaits.

Re-Entry

       Frozen Whisper Series                                "At the Buffet"                                           Copyright  2011

Re-Entry

I’ve not written since we returned from Taos.

Re-entry was a bit more challenging than usual.  After years of coming and going, I never gave much thought to the happenings on either end except to keep them doggies rollin. I’ve never, EVER stopped to plan a re-entry, just picked up where I left off before I went away and then played out the same thing on to the next place to pick where I left off there and on and on….It’s been a continuous cycle of get er’ done, until this trip.

I have lived with an internal time-clock (read bomb) that has compelled me to “do more”, “faster”, “better” with the more recent realization of actually “mentally” moving on to the next and the next while I’m still deep within the “REAL plan” that is currently in progress, (to borrow from the Firesign Theater boys).

Old salty sailors used to have to “box” their compass, as they would tend to drift and lead to false readings and well, bad things. It took time and a lot of patience to make the instrument accurate. These past few days have been a “boxing” of my own compass in preparation of more true readings beginning today and for the future.

I’ve been having a difficult time focusing deeply on much of anything. One VERY important tasks leads to another and in a few hours I use my new compass and see that none of them are VERY anything, much less “important”.  The sense of urgency that has been my traveling companion for all these years is a bit more willing now to stay in his seat and with that a new sense of calm has replaced him.

My beautiful wife speaks often of “presence” and I thought I had a fair understanding of what she meant. I gleaned a bit more about it today.

Bless her.

Free Ride

Free Ride

Edy and I are in the Albuquerque Airport waiting for our delayed flight. We had a great visit with the kids yet are anxious to get home. As mentioned previously New Mexico is always a trip and this airport in particular is like visiting an old musty yet familiar old hotel. I literally lived well over  two thousand hours here …….and counting. Add to that the 10’s of thousands of hours on airplanes and other airports and somewhere along the line a big chunk of my life has been deposited between here and there. It’s not outer space, cyberspace or teleporting – I call it airport-ation. The cumulative measure of life gained or lost between “places”.  Commuting, carpooling, or “truckin’ – all the same……………”lag time”

Lord knows I used to think it was a very big deal to have Platinum Status for early boarding, upgrades, free flights, “good” snacks and access to assorted lounges until I realized that all of “us sheep” were basically making life deposits by the ga-zillions of hours in these places. Things began changing from that point forward.

During my travels back and forth between offices in different states I had an interesting experience one morning in Taos. We used to have a very colorful character we all called “Dirty Boy”. Like a lot of folks there he did his share of dumpster diving, had dreads and well, stunk. As I was getting a coffee at a little shop and he saddled up next to me and gave me a nudge. I thought, “oh brother, he wants breakfast” and pulled out my wallet again to oblige. He just looked at me and asked “Commuter?” I looked at him and said ....‘What?”’
He looked up past the ceiling into the heavens and then looked back at me slowly said……….. “Ah,I thought so………. commuter”.

During one of my photo excursions this trip, I ran across these seed pods and thought about their ability to create “airportation” via their own form of random commuting. Wind, animals, guys with cameras and loose laces in their shoes allow them to spread out from their existing locations and try again for another shot at life for the next generation. Very noble in concept but what about the lag time, being carried hither and yon until such time the seed is detached (either willingly or unwillingly) and hopefully falls to fertile ground. Commuter

From the standpoint of the calf, dog or guy with the camera the seedpod is generally an unwelcome guest to be disposed of quickly or in other cases goes unnoticed for a very long time. Either way it’s a crap-shoot as to the suitability of the new landing zone to keep with the plan. Then, IF successful, the real work begins, because we all know there is no such thing as a Free Ride.

Give Thanks

Give Thanks

I have taken a little break from the “daily blog” to visit Edy and “The L’s” in Taos for the Thanksgiving Holiday.  It’s always good to see the gang and see how fast young boys grow.

Required feasting was a group effort. Everyone did their part to ensure we all had way too much to eat and will continue to do so for the next few days.

Returning to Taos is always more than a trip for us; in fact it’s always a trip and a half.

So as not to begin a novel here about our life in Taos, we can simply borrow from Mr. Dickens, “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times”…..

There are snap-shots in life when one experiences the unbearable agony of not having certain dreams come to fruition. All of the associated energy, effort and expectations crash to create a black hole of questioning of “Why? “and “What’s it all about”?  It feels that this has all been for naught and a matter of life or death.

Fast forward a relatively short period of time and one can see that the “dreams” were nothing but an ego folly and the touch of agony that was experienced was actually just a gentle blip of pain compared to what would continue to be experienced into this day if the ego had won. Of course the “seeing” is a choice. There are many other choices that could be made to keep one safe in the warm and cozy familiar black hole.

I went out this morning and took some pictures while Edy got the 1^st ski of the season in with #1 Daughter. Both are activities we enjoy and deeply ground us.  While walking through the snow in my way too light for the season wardrobe I was reminded that “do-overs” abound at every turn in the road if you dare to keep walking. In my core I am a dreamer, I dream BIG; couldn’t stop if I wanted to.  I am also a manifestor of the 1^st order. If the dreams I dream need to manifest, they will.  Insha'Allah