Limits
“Clink, Clink, Clink”………….I could hear Edy in the Kitchen this morning loading the dishwasher as I came out of my dream state into another day of reality. “Crap, I’m sore” I said to myself for the seven hundredth time since turning in as I tried in vain to just push my internal snooze button and grab just a few more winks. It was a longer night than usual with my body buzzing and aches and pains nagging, I guess yoga is working it’s magic….or it could be just Winter.
I was supposed to have a bunch of appointments this morning with folks buying a bunch of stuff I have on Craigslist and Ebay I want to get out of here to make room for new, but it’s. 2pm and all are no shows. I’m remembering now why dumpsters were the venue of choice in Taos. Cart, Pitch – DONE !! The few scheckles realized for the hassle of waiting and waiting and waiting seems ridiculous. Of course the other option would be to pay someone to haul off these treasures which I’m keeping in reserve.
I had memories today of standing at my old drawing boards, hand drafting changes to 50 sheets of plans each of 4 buildings of Nursing homes I was doing for an Eastern Seaboard Conglomerate. 200 sheets total needing to be revised for a 10am Monday FedEx Pickup. It was becoming a bi-weekly sanity test. Plans would be submitted, some “higher up” would think of “oh, and one more thing” …..And back to the “boards” I’d go. Site meetings would all have to be changed, spacs revised, contract addenda was encyclopedic. Sure I had staff do them for a while but the overtime was killing me and had to be submitted separately from normal invoicing and the conglomerate A/P Dept would always question every hour and hold up payments on the original fees because of made up account codes so it just became “easier and more profitable” to just do it myself. I hated the work, the conglomerates and the end results of the stepped all over finished designs but it was work and I needed it.
So, hour after hour I’d erase and draw, erase and draw all the while looking out the window of my third floor offices as it snowed, rained or shined. Month after month aftermonth after month. 1st and 2nd floors of my building were all quiet because those employees were actually living life but would return on Monday for the FedEx man. Not me baby, I was working another weekend to build for the future. New babies at home, sailboats in the harbor and the certainty that THIS is what you do to ensure security and stability for the future.
I had these clients for years and did work for them up and down the East Coast and hated every minute of it. One weekend as another sunny day turned into oranges and reds out toward the Berkshires, I heard a little voice in my head say “This is Bullshit!!”……….. “WHAT???” I said. “This is ridiculous” the voice said again. “You don’t need to keep up all this staff and loose time with your family to hassle with these schmoes anymore, Let it go !!””……………I continued to work through the entire weekend with more purpose than ever.
Monday morning came and the FedEx man showed up and took his tubes. All but one of the staff was let go and I informed the client that they needed a new firm. I had no work in the pipeline and had been off the market for so long that I knew it would take months to even get back on the radar but a little voice in my head said …………..“Hey, don’t worry, let’s go sailing”.
Some days I miss that boat.
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