Dividends within Dividends

Dividends within Dividends

Edy and I arrived home late last night from our visit to Taos and immediately set into our “let’s get dinner game” rattling off all the places we’d previously scoped out for late night dining and settling on deli for our 1^st pick. Four more picks later we resigned ourselves to just get home and have an omelet, as our subsequent picks were closed and the game was getting un-fun fast.

We both have some kind of lung thing going on and have been hacking like coal miners for a few days now. Sleep has been fitful. I slept in a bit because I blew out a lung during the night and needed the extra time for it to find its way back into my body. We had good conversation early and then set out to grab some lunch at our old favorite Mediterranean food place and do some other errands. Ah, it’s good to be home.

Today is Leap Day 2012, that 24 hour dividend added on to the calendar every four years to “even things out”. I keep a photographic journal of the past dozen or so years so it was easy for me to pull up some shots from the last Leap Year and the one before that. On 02-29-08 Edy and I went for what we would call our “Prayer Walk”. We had done it together 4 years and 11 days prior but I did not put that together until today as I went through the archives.

The “Prayer Walk” is a trail that leads through Pueblo Land, past an old Mission and Cemetery, through grazing areas and down a long muddy road that ends at a huge wooden cross. It is set in the middle of nowhere on purpose with only the sacred mountains surrounding it and lots and lots of sky. As you walk you are encouraged to pick up rocks that “feel” right for you. When you arrive you take in the natural beauty and give thanks to your traveling companion(s) and then one by one offer the stones you collected to the cross as prayers……….one prayer after another.

In 2004 my “friend” Edith came to visit me in Taos and as a good host I thought it would be fun to show her a place that I found “special” and held in reverence. Four years and a few days later, Edy My Love (EML) and I would decide that a “Prayer Walk” would be a fun activity for Leap Day 2008.

I was 1^st introduced to the Prayer Walk in 2000 although it was the summer not February. It was a time of great heartache and I prayed for knowledge of God’s will, love and the well being of my family. In 2004 I prayed for the same thing while gazing at my “friend” from the corner of my eye. In 2008 I prayed the same prayer but included MY LOVE Edy’s children and their children as recipients of protection and well-being. We went home later that day and were able to give big love to grown kids and grandchildren together.

Today I say the same prayer realizing that I have been the recipient of numerous dividends within the dividends of this extra day we call Leap Day.  I also gave thanks in gratitude for Prayers continuously answered.

May you too reap deep dividends.

Blessings, DKS

Keeping It All Together

Keeping It All Together

I had some time this morning to play with my camera and learn a bit more about its exposure settings as I am way more familiar with film than CMOS sensors, for now. This came on the heels of learning another new “trick” within my CADD program yesterday. I have been using the same software for over 20 years but still learn new things about it constantly. Program Depth, I believe it’s called and it keeps me humble.

Parenting has been a big topic recently; partly because we’re visiting grandchildren, partially because it just “is”. I was reading a post from a young mother this morning on FB about challenges of having a house full of sick children all under 4 and thought, “yep, MOTHER, that is a very hard job”.

Dad’s go to work, fix things and do their best to add their specific nurturing element to a family, but Moms……..Moms keep it all together. Embodying the most sacred of the feminine in bringing forth the members of the family and keeping the container of “spirit” going through rain, sleet and the darkest nights…… Moms rock in their tireless devotion to the family and the individual members.

When Grandson #1 and I were going through the “powers” of the specific Chess Pieces yesterday, we quickly went through the pawns, rooks, knights, bishops and spent a bit more time with the King and Queen.  “The King has the power to win/loose the game but the Queen is the most powerful piece on the board”. He shook his head yes, “of course”…………….no more explanation needed……………he witnesses it every day.

Our Village is gifted with 4 extremely powerful “Queens” (although in truth, one is still a young “Princess” and will probably always stay that way in my mind). Having learned at the knee of the Queen of Queens I marvel at their abilities to instinctively love, nurture, protect and grow their families to achieve the levels of “life” they know is held within each DNA strand. It’s awe inspiring in its beauty and simplicity.  

I often wonder just how the Queens are supported in their efforts and an image emerged while shooting photos yesterday. Together the King and Queen can keep the tension to a minimum IF the King can support his Queen fully. Not as a replacement Queen but fully AS King. Queens can never be replaced except by other Queens; But when circumstances occur that Queens must also be Kings, this seems to work just fine because Queens can pull it off. They can rule and nurture forever as their reserve powers are seemingly endless. Not so for Kings.  Kings powers diminish as they try to become Queens. Their triumphs and conquests of yore are soon replaced by frustration and lack because the requisite skills do not exist. The more he tries to gain these powers the less King-ly he becomes and soon only chaos reigns the castle.  It’s endemic in our society and spans all social strata. I learned it first hand and now do not kid myself for one second, because I know who is Keeping it all together in our Village.

En Passant

En Passant

I spent the morning teaching my Grandson #1 Chess. We started off slowly and it quickly became evident that he was going to take to this like everything else he tries and master it in a day. By 10am we were on the regulation board and by 10:30am Grandpa had felt the misery of defeat………ugh. Watch out world!

Grandparents have an important role in families, when allowed. I feel very fortunate to be able to be a part of the boys’ lives and this Chess playing moment has been with me since the day #1 was born.

In my enthusiasm I saturated him with way too much information on History, Masters and Technique. “Capture, Castle, En Passant  and Rescue….. He was his normal kind, gentle, loving self and let it go on ….and on ….and on…..”Are you sure you want to make that move?” ……..”Hum, have you thought about what my next move will be?” ..”Wow, I did NOT see that coming !!!......GOOD MOVE !!!”…………….and on and on………He’s six and already holding his own in this family of know it all’s and chiefs. Unfortunately we overheard later him asking his brother “if he really wanted to do that?” ………Yikes !…….So, Grandpa is going to dial it down a few notches from here on out and just take care of my own game.

After he had a chance to also work his magic on Grammy with similar results we headed out to the toy store for a promised Monster Lego Set. The one we wanted was out of stock but a suitably complex “B” unit was selected in it’s place. Hundreds and hundreds of semi-microscopic pieces are already assembled (solo) and it’s still not bedtime. I am beyond impressed, I am in awe. Patience, determination, focus…………..Watch out World !

While the Lego-pazoola was underway I took a bit of time to take a walk, think a bit and shoot some photos. As much as I try to come to terms with visits back here in Taos, memories crop up unexpectedly and offer many opportunities for reflection as well as presence-ing.

I’ve lived in dozens of different places so far. Each location offered it’s gifts in all the various forms over and over again. I know people who have lived in the same place all their lives, I am not one. I had always found some quaint sense of family and home whenever I met folks who lived like that. I have come to terms with just passing through. Be it a few years, a couple of decades or even a month and a half in one instance I am coming to terms with being a 21^st Century Bedouin.   The good news is that 737’s have replaced Camels and I’m fine with that. As far as work goes I have not had to “be” anywhere for a very long time because of the internet. I think that more and more I will expand the list of places we want to visit and do just that, En Passant.

What a difference a year makes

What a difference a year makes

Decided to stay in today to rest my ribs and do some work while the rest of the gang went out to do their own things. As I was drawing wall sections the sun peeked through the clouds and illuminated the end of a console table in the Dining Room here revealing lots of nice heartwood end grain.  Annual rings from various pine logs exemplified “what a difference a year makes” very clearly. I became increasingly distracted and found drawing harder and harder as the clocked ticked. Soon I decided it was time for a portrait and a bit of writing before I got back to metal framing details.

“Humm???, Last year I was”………..working like crazy to make sure the resort project I had been hired to do was going to be open on time and on budget and dealing with the day to day dramas of a place that enjoyed dramas.

As mentioned previously every trip to Taos is its own trip. Lots of memories here of lots of things and I began thinking about annual rings in terms of sustenance that allows survival and growth much like trees and I had a bit of a shift internally of our  years here. If I had to visualize my own rings I’d say that all the time up until Taos were quite thin. Working to make sure monster payrolls were met, paying for multiple offices and homes, addressing staff, subs and owners drained me constantly. I brought all of that energy to Taos and maintained the multiple multiples for a while but it all evaporated into the ethers and I was left with me and a bunch of ashes…….

Thank God for Edy.   As I was licking my wounded ego and wallowing, she was introducing new elements into our relationship that did not require offices, staff or ga-zillions of dollars. That model has kept us going for years now and the rings are fat and strong………….and getting stronger.  I did not have the receptors to even know this kind of life was possible until then but continue to embrace them as they changed our lives that 1st year ………………    And the year after that, and the year after that and the year after that…………..wow, what a difference a year makes…………

I'll Survive

I’ll Survive

As I write our 4 year old grandson is screaming his lungs out over something he feels is really important. Parents are members of a special club that no one who is not one will ever “get”. Much like combat veterans, broken hearted lovers or those in recovery, no one can read their way through “the experience”. When we’re here visiting the Taos gang I always think of just how fast time flies. Blink once and the vocal 4 year old will be asking for car keys, blink again and you’re at his house visiting his new family……..then poof……

When we were traveling here we took our seats in the 1^st vacant row we came to and it was not until I had avoided eye contact with every other boarding passenger and made sure my force-field shield was on so the middle seat would remain “ours”   that I noticed we were in front of the exit row. “Crap”, what little bit of comfort that was available in the form of a 5 degree incline would not be mine for the next two hours. My first thought was of 1^st class but that evaporated. I’ll survive.

We went skiing today. It was windy very windy, what some might call Idiot Wind. Fortunately it was mostly sunny and not terribly cold so it was more a weather show that it was a misery maker. Clouds were zipping above the mountain top at such speed that the head winds were tearing off the leading edges and smashing them into the cloud in front. It was impressive until you turned a corner and got your face snow-blasted back to your 20’s.

I had a couple of what I felt were good runs then caught a tip because of bad habits and smashed my ribs into the mountain with such force that I lost my breath. It felt exactly like getting head butted in the flank when I played rugby. “Man that’s gonna lave a mark” I thought as I struggled to re –attach my skis and return to the basics of skiing for the rest of the day.   I was bummed because my semi-cool parallel skier mask formed over the past few months had been ripped off and my lack of fundamentals had been exposed.    Breathing was (still is) difficult but because I did not have poles for my fundamentals,  it let my ribs off the hook for the remaining dozen or so runs because my arms did not have to do much. Good thing I’ve been doing yoga because all the sitting on air exercises paid off. Dang, I hate being a beginner at anything!!! …………………but just like yoga, it won’t be forever and having good basics always pay off big dividends. Unlearning any bad habits takes longer than getting it right the 1^st time, so I’ll be snow plowing for a while.  Be it Skiing, Biking or Sailing …….they’re same thing, good basics = NO DEATH.       I’ll survive.

Both grandkids are now doing puzzles together; things have mellowed out.  Annoyances meld into snuggles which meld into baths, teeth brushing and then bed and then more snuggles ………….. only to be repeated tomorrow, Thank Goodness !  

I will close now and head over to the recliner to make up for some lost lumbar angle time while sounds of kids snoring begin to permeate the house………….somehow everything just works out just the way it’s supposed to……………we all  survived.

No Regrets !

      Edy's V-Day Lillies -2012

No Regrets

Edy and I went to yoga this morning. It was hot ! I’ve been trying out my new skills learned during my private session last Friday and feel a lot of improvement. The biggest challenge will be undoing three decades of sitting on my butt and more specifically every second helping of anything and everything I’ve ever indulged in since day one that resides on my core in the form of added insulation. Despite the fact that I don't drink or eat red meat, I've found other indulgences that I now see in the mirror every morning and yet, I regret nothing!!

My 60 day Bikram Challenge will be off by a few days because we are going to be visiting kids/grandkids but I feel good about that too and regret nothing.  I’ll be doing a lot of outdoor activities, working on projects and playing with kids; I’m really excited about the trip and told Edy that “we’re going bye-bye  in the morning” as we left our neighborhood sushi place today; practicing my grandpa corn for the kids……………..she endures me,they endure me too.

I have a fun project I’m working on that offers just the right balance of creativity, drudgery, and mystery to keep me interested. Should either of them gain too much importance I get bogged down in the minutia and lose momentum. The owners are nice folks with a good vision and I am very grateful to be part of it. It is so much different than other projects I’ve been involved with but also exactly the same as others so it has a life of its own and there is an element of humor in it that is refreshing. I need more humor in all parts of my life.

We stopped by the storage closet to grab a suitcase when we got home from lunch and I got a tingle in my gut as I pulled it from the upper stack. Many, many years of travel. Many, many duplicates of things scattered all over the country in various “homes and offices”. There is an old Firesign Theater skit about   “How can you be two places at once when you’re not anywhere at all?” ……….I got it then, I get it now.

“Home is where Edy is”. That is an important statement because I’ve never felt like I had a home, ever. I moved a lot as a kid and tried to fill in the blank with "properties" in adult-hood to no avail.  The closest was our place in Taos but that turned out to also be an illusion. Our place here is nice. We love our neighborhood and location but if we had to pack up tomorrow to go elsewhere, I’d be ok with that too; as long as it was “Me and Edy”, the where doesn't really matter.

Every trip back to Taos brings up “stuff”.

Dreams thwarted, winters,springs,summers,autumns of discontent, memories of people, places, things past …This trip feels a bit different in that I’m really excited about seeing everyone and spending time with them. Sure we had hard times in Taos, who hasn’t ? It’s the place that tests everyone who dares to go there. I’m no different, although for the longest time I was cetain I was. It feels good to be able to return to the place that actually showed me what I was made of and give heartfelt thanks for the opportunity know me just a little bit more. No Regrets!

Cool Hyper-Giants



Lunation Series                      Winter Solstice #8                                            c-2006



Cool Hyper-Giants

Today has been a day of ease and flow. Light Sunday brunch, yoga, a little shopping and home to keep the good times rolling before we head out in a few days to visit the Taos gang.

Every week we get a nice astrological post from a lady we like. This week spoke about the new moon on Tuesday and its relationship with NML-Cygni.  .NML-Cygni is a Cool Hyper Giant Star which means its color ranges are more toward the yellow orange spectrum as opposed to Hot Hyper Giants which are blue to white. One extremely “cool” thing about them is that they was billions of times larger than our own sun and have the exponential energy output you would associate with that kind of mass. So graphically a pin point on a basketball would be about ¼ the size needed to be an accurate Sun, then the earth pin pointed on the sun and then you and I pinpointed at 1000000x reduction on the earth and well.. you get the “point” , they’re BIG– (pun intended).

Whenever I think of stars I always think of light and the time it takes for light to get to us and what has transpired from then – til now. I used to have a cool telescope I bought to look at the heavens in Taos. I used it less than a dozen times. When I did use it I was always amazed at what was out there through the glaze of our atmosphere. Moons of Jupiter were always a favorite as was our own moon at high magnification.   Nebulae other planets and just the sheer number of stars was breath-taking.

Today as I read about the moon cycling around again on Fat Tuesday in line with Cool Hyper Giants I thought about Mardi Gras, Human Evolution and Camera Shutters. Mardi Gras because I have fond memories of living in NOLA during that time and remember it every year, Human Evolution in terms of “us” even knowing about Cool Hyper Giants and Camera Shutters because as I looked through the telescope I was like a human camera shutter capturing a moment of time/life of each of the stars, planets and galaxies in my mind for future recall. My own “cerebral cloud” backup system; my memory.

I heard a teacher at yoga this morning share with a student a very intimate personal experience he had during one of his teacher training sessions. He shared about remembering deeply held beliefs that came to the surface during the intensity of his training experience and the emotional response that welled from the deepest parts of his core as they were met and released. He was not prompted to share this information, he offered it freely. I remain touched.  

Which then got me thinking about the Willy Nelson song, “My Heroes have always been Cowboys” .   Looking deeper into the graphics of pin-points, within pin-points, within pin points over the millennia,  I see that I am actually surrounded by some VERY Cool Hyper Giants within my own Village. We pool our energies to “keep shining” and doing whatever is needed to ensure the next generation of “stars” can also shine as bright as possible. All this light exposes a lot for all to see and also casts shadows. They are all addressed as they emerge ….one by one…in their own time.......…. Only Heroes can wrestle shadows…………We are a village of heroes!  

Paper or Plastic ?

Paper or Plastic?

Crazy Thunderstorms rolled in throughout the night and morning made sleeping “interesting”. I like thunderstorms. While driving through one a couple of days ago Edy and I discussed viewing them from the warmth of a cozy hotel room on the beach, which is fun (and safe) while calling for room service……..ahhh, living the dream !!  I like them from boats, on the beach and even viewing them from afar as I get a huge rush from the energy they contain. I love the way they come on the stage in an almost operatic manner. In the distance, then  air changing temperature, direction / smell…hairs on your skin start to stand and then WOOSH……..Light shows, acoustical bombardment, uncertainty of random strikes , powerful rain, hail and more acoustical bombardments ……then fading away into the distance leaving a trail of refuse and cleanliness all in one……Love IT !!….. We were out of Rice Milk this morning so it was a perfect excuse to run out, get wet and serve my wife a little wake up coffee and muffin in bed………….ahhh, living the dream….!!  

While checking out with my room service items I received the standard cashier question “paper or plastic?” …..”paper” I said as I fished through my wallet for a few bills (paper)  to see if I had enough cash or if I had to use the card (plastic)……kinda funny, I chuckled as I presented a stack of ones I’d been saving for just this occasion.

I had my first private Bikram Yoga lesson yesterday. Edy and I did a 10am session and saw my instructor as we were leaving. She came into my face and said “WHAT are you doing?? You’re gonna DIE !!!” ……..”It’s a good day to die” I replied in my best Sitting Bull voice. Edy and I went home had some lunch showered and I returned to meet my demise.

Bikram Yoga is 26 postures in a 105 degree room at about 60% humidity. It is supposed to mimic the climate of Southern India………..now,all over the world. Our 10am class felt like 120 and 80% and the Private Lesson felt like 140 and 90%. It was two + hours long and addressed my “form” or lack there-of for each of the postures. It was hard, darned hard but I came away with several important insights:

1.     Past Injuries and the pain they contain are 95% Fear Based. I tended to “pamper” them and actually increased the chances of further injury as opposed to pushing through to the next level and letting them relax completely.

2.     The Poses I was most comfortable with and thought were my favorite were so because I was doing them wrong and in a lazy manner.

3.     Others I thought I was doing improperly because they felt so “weird” were actually my better ones.

4.     I am a heck of a lot stronger than I thought and flexibility is happening, albeit slowly.

Something tells me these awareness’s might go beyond yoga ?

We decided to do yoga later today. It gives me a chance to write this and wrap up a plan to pass along to one of my Engineers; Edy has stuff she wants to do too. As I drew this morning on my computer I was reminded of all the hours of actual “drawing” that I used to do on paper. Rolls and Rolls of paper…….now I use “clouds” to store my drawings so all of the consultants can access them by-passing the plastic Discs and CDs we used exchange in the interim completely…….Humm,… Paper, Plastic, Clouds ???..............

The rain has slowed to a drizzle, time to go and see what Edy is up to.

I Choose

I Choose

We just returned from a nice Cajun meal after driving through rainy Interstate traffic for hours. I had to check on some issues on a jobsite this afternoon and Edy rode shotgun for me as we headed north into cowboy territory. Technically it means just walking through the mud and observing how the water works its way off the land. It’s quite fun and one of my favorite parts of pre-design. Playing (whoops I mean working)  in the rain, romping in mud, right through puddles……yep, don’t try this at home only trained professionals like myself or other  4 to 9 year old boys can do this well.  We desperately need rain here and it’s been refilling the drought stricken land for several days now. My first visit to this particular job site was sad. Dry ponds, creeks and lots of brown. Today was wet, muddy, swampy and green. As I cut through a fence and around a bunch of scrub and fallen trees I spotted some yellow in the distance; Yellow Bugle plant already blooming, smiling through the rain for all to see. Portrait required.

Life is getting in the way of my life.

As you know, forty something days ago I took on the Bikram Yoga Challenge. I missed 2 sessions due to illness and made those up last week. Over the past 5 days have done 7 sessions in anticipation of trip we have planned so I don’t miss my “mark” that shows up so clearly on my “chart” that is posted in the lobby of the studio. Two sessions of 90 minutes each at 105 degrees is a lot. On Sunday I did back to back sessions (3 hours) and it was a lot…+.  I tend toward the compulsive in most anything and yoga is my new fixation. My days of late have been geared around which time spot I’ll be attending. Am I hydrated enough? Did I eat too much or too little? Clothes, Towels….etc……
It might as well be crack………..or golf…..or sailing……….or work………..or anything else I can throw a schedule or resources at.

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I’d been planning for it for a long time. Gifts were purchased and goodies were stashed out of sight. I had the day planned out to military precision. Only one problem, I forgot to confirm with my Valentine what was on her schedule….YIKES !!!  Fortunately Valentines Eve I was able to get that she had plans for part of the day and I adjusted accordingly. (Being a loose and flowing guy has its benefits.) Breakfast in Bed with goodies – Afternoon Movie – Dinner with more goodies……………..it was a mellow and wonderful day!  Yoga was not involved.

This morning we went to 10am yoga. It was hotter than anything but I made it through. I grabbed a sticker to put on my chart for that session and noticed the blank space from yesterday. I placed the sticker on the next spot and had to sit down for a bit and think about what just came up in me when I saw that “space”.

That “space” on a cheesy printed 60 day chart represented all the other “spaces” in my life I had let accumulate because I chose some project/client or outside “fill in the blank” over what was most important to ME. Sure the money, fame or whatever the carrot du’jour was felt good as a pacifier, but the spaces built up and built up more and more until pacification was no longer an option. Something had to give or more importantly something had to be found.   

Edy came out of the dressing room and sat next to me while we packed up our stuff to head home. When we stood I glanced over at my chart with the space and smiled. 60 Day Challenge, 50 Year Challenge, 100 Year Challenge..what-ever…… “I choose how to spend my days now”, I thought to myself as I opened the door for her………….”I choose!”

No $#@%^ Way !!

Frozen Whisper Series                                                       2 Left Feet                                                  c-2011

No $#@%^ Way !!

34 degrees is mild in some parts of the country. Here it’s a hard winter and time for folks to break out the animal furs. I chose this morning to ride my bike to yoga for the 1^st of 2 classes today as I attempt to accumulate credits toward my final days of the 60 day challenge, knowing I’ll be a away for several of them.

My fingers were pretty numb when I arrived and I sure wish I had remembered the nice gloves H/F gave me for Xmas. I checked in and sat outside to hydrate a bit before class and the coolness of the air actually felt good.  The window banging cardinal showed up in time to show me she still “had it” and demonstrated her futile flying into the window several times to make the point.

Class was packed with folks doing their Sunday AM rituals. I was the new guy and only knew a few of the participants. Class was hot and I put 110% into all the poses to make sure I was getting “maximum benefit” as promised in the teachings.  I noticed a woman in the 3^rd row who was obviously in some form of “treatment” because of the turban she wore and her very slight frame. By God she did every posture also seeking maximum benefit. I said a prayer for her and dug just a bit deeper into my own poses.

I changed and sat out on a bench afterward re-hydrating a bit before riding back and gazed over at my bike. Yoga mat rolled up, towels in the saddle bags and extra sport drink in the holder. If anyone would have every suggested that “this” would be “me” at some point in the future, I would have certainly said “No $#@%^ Way.  I had such a firm belief in “who I was” that there was no way THAT could be part of me !!   Hum, I guess I just did not want to see it ?

Things change, people change………………………………….Way.

Village Dialogs

Village Dialogs

Several months ago I implemented Village Dialogs on behalf of our family as a forum to broach hard topics as well as a place for all in our family to be heard. I had a vision while talking with Edy one morning of a tribe of humans gathered around a campfire and passing on both oral histories and explaining hand paintings to the younger members. As the village elder it fell on me to begin the initial dialog but it did not take long for the village to take their own seats and speak.

Pointing at certain places on the walls I would explain to my grandsons and daughters the revelry that occurred at each of their births and subsequent happenings since then. Certainly some of them would be remembered and in no time they would get what was going on and fall into the linear progression of life and their very solid place in it and in our family and family history.

Like all families or tribes we have enjoyed seasons of plenty and seasons of drought. We’ve enjoyed seasons of togetherness and seasons apart. All seasons come with blessings and tears and this too is an important life lesson. Hardships can bring as much or more joy than seasons of abundance and successes have their own weight.  We leave seats at our fire for those who cannot be with us physically because they are always with us in our hearts, always.

The talking stick is available for anyone who wishes to talk at anytime. Our only request is that the original intention of the dialogs is recognized and that we can paint whatever is said on the wall for posterity.  We speak from our hearts to the best of our abilities on topics both shallow and quite deep. It’s a reverential process that bespeaks the lineage of our ancestors long forgotten.

We are an intense group; we would not have it any other way. We are passionate, loud and opinionated. We resist yielding but do and most importantly we are learning to leave space for the mysteries of the individuals and the collective to evolve, as witnesses.

What has been created is quite beautiful and contains threads of ritual and ceremonies long past.  In its essence we needed to deconstruct our busy lives to go way back to base forms or communication using current technology because the majority of these dialogs occur via Email in a “cloud” .  Back to the Future, for Real!

Additional Research Required

Additional Research Required

Edy and I cut short our morning chat session so we could both do a few things. We reconvened for lunch and picked right up where we left off, while sandwiches were being made. Our “LivingProof” models are up again on in a number of areas and we discussed how universal concepts can take on new light and life when packaged for the appropriate audience.

We kept our conversation going as Edy finished her sandwich earlier than I did and began prepping tonight’s dinner.  Roasted root veggies with mushrooms and greens, yum! As she was washing the mud off the beets and peeling them she remarked on how beautiful the resulting pattern was within the skinned beet. I agreed and grabbed the camera, macro lens and a reflector for a “portrait”.

We then continued our discussion about threads of long held beliefs and their re-shuffling into a more current, relevant or appealing framework and how that translates into mass interest then finally into mass integration. Once integrated they become fabric for individuals, families, societies ….etc.. to use on a daily basis.  

Examples abound.  Google did not invent information – Wiki did not invent the encyclopedia – Van Gough did not invent paint, South West Airlines did not invent the airplane and Evangelists did not invent GOD. Each one of these and millions of other “smart” folks took what was there, tweaked it and put a bow on it and then launched it out to the masses. Granted tweaking and bows are the key here and not to be glossed over.

We are noticing more and more folks we know taking things they are passionate about, packaging them for mass consumption and either reaping wonderful rewards or falling quite short of their stated objectives. The two key elements that seem to separate success from failure (not that failure is bad) are Light and Life.

When a person or organization wants to experience victories they shine their light out for all to see. This light draws in certain individuals or other organizations yet also shines on the flaws and mis-alignments of the light source. What is done with those newly revealed inclusions will test the ability of the source to move forward, cleanly.

In my business, we seek a “Living” Building” model as a key to developing the highest level of construction and technology for a built environment. As it turns out this too needs to be re-vamped to include re-generation, so that the life continues to thrive within the structure. The same holds for people and organizations, some mechanism for regeneration must be present for life to continue. I’m not talking about botox and stem-cell creams because we’ve all seen enough dead 30 year olds to know that perky skin and a beating heart is NOT a sign of life.  I’m talking about the core of our Living Proof model – “What is my life’s purpose?”

Again, we did not invent this universal human question, but we are the first group to actively develop the data modeling and tracking to continue the research. Yet, like many others before us as we shine the light we find the need to re-align and refine our model to ensure that the life we seek will indeed be regenerative and thrive for future generations.

Personally, I struggle with what I do, as opposed to who I am? Too many years of do-ing has clouded my ability to really feel what really gives me light and life and just as important, what lets me shine each of those qualities out for all to see.  

It's a starting point, additional research is required.

Making Memories

Making Memories

I worked through a pretty complex plan today and feel good about hitting the mark I had set for myself; despite the fact that I am trying to just go with the flow these days.

I did take a mid day break to “prove the point” to myself about my ease of being, so that Edy and I could walk to our neighborhood sushi place for lunch. Man, they do it right!!  It’s just like being back in Tokyo with specialty menu items and the freshest fish I’ve had for many years. The Unaju was exceptional today.  

Later, I saw a Facebook post from a buddy who is returning back to “reality” after weeks in Hawaii and that and lunch got me thinking about “experiences” and how we store them for recall in the future.

As you know, I take a lot of pictures and that is one way to store experiences. Others include food/meals, flora/fauna, music and other sensory repositories. One of the ones I’m just now remembering is the memories stored in muscles, because I am now using some that have been in their own form of storage for a very long time.  Yoga involves a lot of stretching and strength moves that address "every cell in your body” (Bikram quote) so, of course that brought me on to cellular memory (physical not the I-phone Type).

Over the past 5 weeks I’ve had a number of long lost memories surface about a variety of things. First were those brought on past injuries for obvious reasons. Second were those brought on by pleasure because they were so unexpected. An example of this is my ability to fully fill my lungs to what feels like the same capacity I did when I ran 9 miles a day and boxed in my 20’s. Ahhhhhhhhh, I did just now for the pure pleasure of it. Third are the memories that just come out of nowhere. For instance, the other day I was riding my bike on Route #3 and had a flashback to riding down US 41 in Florida when I was 14 years old – peddling my butt off to keep up with traffic and breathing into the flow. Was it muscles? Strobe of the spokes, my spinning legs and the burn in them or was it cellular?      

It’s been 25 years since I was in Japan yet, my Eel Bowl brought me right back to Minato Ku. I have not been to Hawaii for 6 months but my buddy’s post had me basking in the sunshine, smelling Kona coffee and feeling nothing but bliss.  Sensory memories are a trip.

So, I’ve been experimenting a bit on my wife with what I call the Eagle pose hug. I’m big into Eagles and Bigger into Hugs and learning the poses so I thought what better than combine them all into one? I combine all the moves (http://www.santosha.com/garuda.html ) into a relatively Python-esqe envelopment of my love, Edy. If I could levitate it would be even more effective.  The first time was a bit awkward but with each successive application the memories of that first time are felt in “every cell in my body” and I’m pretty certain are being stored for the future.  Try that with a I-phone.

Mirage

Mirage

Sunday morning date and we just returned from the movie “The Artist”. For those of you who have not seen it, it was worth the matinee price and you should stop reading now because you’ll be mighty ticked off if you have to spend hard earned money after reading this. Oh, and not to give too much away that you have not already read, but the dog will win the Oscar.

I could not help but think about KODAK during the entire film. The company that made the movie industry has gone the same way as the protagonist in the film, except they aren’t dancing right now. That then got me thinking about why a company that has almost a century of successes would blow it so badly when the digital age showed itself on the horizon a couple of decades ago…which further got me thinking about all the other countries, corporations, institutions and individuals that mistook truth for a mirage. Human nature continues to be a trip and my favorite hobby.

From Chernobyl to 911 on to the Quadra-annual American Memory Test currently underway; humans are always filtering information in a manner that will make the most ridiculous seeming observations make some sense. They will then gather others to report their findings and either “nuke it” or “stick their heads in the sand” until something “happens” and then if the resulting data conflicts with the original report, point and blame until it evaporates into the next crisis.  Jeez isn’t our presence in the middle east based on a mirage?.....................(with a wee little nudge from Halliburton?)

I have witnessed it in countries, large corporations, small businesses, it most certainly occurs in families, yet always begins with individuals.  I am an eternal optimist and hopeless romantic. Sure, even in the days when I’d bark and growl, I always felt that all would be well in the end and good would always triumph. For instance, I refused to believe my teenage daughter was “into boys”, because it just did not compute with the template image of the 4 year old that remained in my brain despite the dozen years that had transpired. Mirage.

I built a career fixing the mistakes of others knowing full well that there was a reason others had not been successful with a particular client/project yet I’d forge ahead knowing that with my “superior powers” , success was imminent and the crowds would applaud ………………fade to black.   

Success was not always imminent, crowds did not always applaud and in many instances I’d become another on the list of past consultants because some owners/projects freaked out as their “dreams” actually happened. It took a long time but I finally took off my own glasses and put theirs on. They just wanted a project…….. NOT a finished project and certainly not one that housed their “dreams”. This was a mind blower!

 This leads me back to the movie, and voice. We have a saying in our family about “watching where the feet go”.  Anyone can say anything verbally/written, softly, loudly, with conviction or apathy, but, where are their feet going?  Professing to want this or needing that or not caring or opening deeply into vulnerable places or even expounding on dreams are the equivalent of a verbal mirage IF the feet aren’t stepping in the direction of the voice.   It’s tricky for a guy like me because I WANT to believe that what I “hear” is the truth and generally already have my shoes on before the sentences are finished to go and “help”………………..(particularly where dreams are concerned.)  

Lately I’m trying a different tact. Be it National Elections, Companies I am interested in doing business with or individuals I would like to know a bit more, I’ll now wait a bit to put my shoes on and just watch where their feet go for awhile. Then adjust accordingly because more often than not, it was only a mirage.

Somebody

Somebody

I had client meetings yesterday morning and they went really well. It’s nice working with folks who know what they want and are good communicators. The couple of hours of meetings gave me the rest of the information to bring the project up to it’s final review and then were on to moving dirt.

When I returned home I had a voicemail from a company I have a long relationship with notifying me that we had won yet another award for a project we did almost a decade ago. (http://www.solatube.com/commercial/solatube-ice-awards/2011-ice-award-winners.php)   I was immediately struck with pride which was then instantly covered up with a bunch of negatives to deflect t the honor that was being bestowed.  I have a hard time taking in. Be it having loved ones “do” for me in any fashion or awards like those above I seem to find a way to say no and shut myself off from breathing in fully what is being offered…………but, I’m working on changing that.

I was raised in the south. We were taught to say yes sir, no mam, please and thank you, even when we did not meant it. We were also taught not to toot your our horn or get too big for your britches because “prideful ways” were devilish.  This was later buttressed by a mentor who refused to advertise, have a portfolio or ever succumb to kudos of any sort as they were déclassé.

Enter the 15 year old kid who wants nothing more in the world than to “be somebody”. He works harder than his contemporaries to do more and better work,  gather more credentials, more awards, more press, more money and certainly more stuff to prove that “somebody” has arrived…….. only to feel at each pinnacle that perfection was still not attained and therefore the kudo was flawed in one way or another.  (It has the makings of a good Groucho Marx joke.)

The project above has been the longest running ever installation photo in a lighting mfg. catalog (for now 22 yrs). Every year I am reminded of the client, the project, the “shoot” and the royalty check I received for allowing them to use the image. I feel the same pride in the project I received the call on yesterday. In an industry that grinds out designs like seasonal ready to wear, I am happy that some of my work has remained timeless, is recognized as such and still receives accolades.  In all honesty THIS is why I got into the business to begin with all those years ago.

Despite the time lag it's heartening to know that somebody did some really good work ! 
Who knows what else might be up that sleeve for the future ?

February the Tooth

Frozen Whispers Series                                                                         Hokey Pokey #3                              c-2011

February the Tooth

I have not written the blog for a few days for a variety of reasons. I got busy doing stuff on Sun/Mon, cleaning the house and working on a project. Tuesday I got really crazy and went to yoga at 10am so I could get Edy at the airport after her two weeks away. Man I missed her !

The first thing I noticed on Tuesday morning was the yoga studio was less crowded. I checked in and explained my reason for the early session when they all asked.   Hooraay Edy is coming home !!  I signed in as usual, set up my mat where I like it and went outside to sit on the bench and watch the birds for a bit until it was time for class.

There is a female cardinal that spends her whole day fighting her reflection in the window of a building across the street. I see her at 4pm and can see now that she gets an early start.......bang into the window, turn around back into the tree, bang into the window, back into the tree…...........For whatever reason I did not find her behaviour that disturbing.

Yoga was SO HOT that morning. They say “some like it hot” but we have one teacher in particular who hails from Hades and likes it just like home; he just about killed the room of us. Halfway through the power went out so we had 130degrees of hot just staying still.....and I was certain I was not going to make it to the end. It was brutal. Hooray for me though, #30 of 60 classes complete.

I drove home in a heatstroke induced fog to shower shave and give the house one more sweep to be sure everything was in place for Edy’s welcome home. Flowers, magazines, chocolates and a special dinner were all prep’d for her arrival and I headed out the door feeling pretty good. It was rainy as I got on the freeway and I was glad I allotted extra time. Parking was full so I had to go to the roof. Fortunately, I found a spot not too far from the elevators so we would not get too wet.

The place was jambed full of folks heading out of town. Sheep lanes of commuters were all doing their best to keep the line moving in an orderly fashion. I took my usual spot at the do not pass this point or die sign, where arriving passengers slide back into the reality of their lives once they “cross the line” and waited.

From my vantage point I could watch TSA play their power games with each other and citizenry while sliding in an occasional txt or glance at a pretty commuter when higher ranking ones were distracted. Signs for H2N2 virus were everywhere. “Lordy, hope I don't get that crud” I thought as I made sure for the twentieth time not to breathe too deeply or touch anything.

Edy rounded the bend on cue and we had a nice embrace. I was so happy to see her and was very excited to get the heck out of there and get her home, pronto. Edy had lots to talk about, and we conversed to the luggage carousel, at the carousel, to the elevators, up the elevators and all the way home. It occurred to me that it had been two weeks since I had spoken more than a few words to anyone.

We made it home just fine and Edy loved the goodies and dinner. I was glad to have her home and also glad my efforts were noticed. Edy had a conference call afterward and I went into the office to crank out a plan. While drawing, I noticed that my throat was hurting like crazy. Hum,H2N2? Perhaps it was mangos near the pears I bought at whole foods? (allergic to mangos) Conspiracy theories were rampant. I finally chalked it up to way too hot yoga and sheep line of people spreading their nasty stuff...... (although conspiracy theories continued.)

Slept horribly and awoke yesterday feeling worse. After running errands w Edy, took a four hour nap. Missed yoga, first in 30 and will probably miss tonight too. Perhaps Edy is right, maybe I've been pushing too hard……………………….(or it could be H2N2)…???

So right now , I'm sitting outside a hair salon waiting for Edy to come out. It's been almost three hours and I sure hope the guy did a good job. I checked on them earlier and it seemed that there was dialog happening between foil sheets and brushed on product. No tears were evident and I took this as a positive sign. Hair folks hold a lot of power in women's lives. They have a captive audience for hours on end and given the nuances of what makes or breaks a good hair experience hold a woman hostage from then until the next appointment, when ever that might or might not be. We've gone through many. Some good, some horrible. When we were in Taos, we would drive a day to CO for a woman who did a really good job....then she became a mom and priorities shifted. Can't blame her. Fortunately, we soon moved.  Edy has had some not so great experiences here with hair folks. We interviewed this latest guy yesterday, got an ok vibe and signed up for today's trial run..................fingers crossed.

I was able to make calls and write this while also doing some detailing on a project while waiting. Since I chose to sit outside I have the best view in the house of the clientele. This is obviously a “well established” enterprise. I feel pretty certain that the average age of the clientele is 87 and that is only because Edy knocked down the average today by a few decades. What used to be groovy blue hair has been replaced by a kind of purple,rust,orange combo and the ever present blond, platinum blonde. I notice that older ladies don’t use highlights. Their hair is kind of a mono-a-mono. Where they do shine is the eye shadow and the generous/creative widths of the reddish lipstick they are so fond of.

I was kind of engrossed in a sketch I was working on when I heard a commotion at the door next to me. I looked up and saw two ladies with identical red-ish hair and matching purple metal flake walkers trying to get in the front doors. Since the doors were egress doors, they swung out and this made it impossible for them to get their walkers and themselves through. Much like my Lady Cardinal near yoga, they would bang into the door….back off to regroup and then give her a go all over again, and again and again.

I put down my Ipad and yelled for them to “Hang on ladies , the Calvary is coming!!!” and opened the door for them both. I was impressed at all the goodies they had thought to bring with them in the little trays of their walkers, snack, books, magazines and pocketbooks. Not their 1^st rodeo I’m sure. They smiled their wider than real life lipstick smiles at me as they choooo-chooo’d their way to the reception desk. “This is better than TV” I thought as I returned to my seat.

Edy knocked on the window shortly afterward and I met her inside. She looked stunning.

We exchanged wallets and cash and paid everyone off for their services.  As we headed to the car she showed me a picture and asked if the color she now has matched the photo. “Humm, no” I said.   “Next time let me explain the color to him, OK?” I requested. …………..After a bit she said “OK”…

I smiled to myself. “Yep, sweetie, Not to worry, the Calvary’s comin”……..!!