I Choose

I Choose

We just returned from a nice Cajun meal after driving through rainy Interstate traffic for hours. I had to check on some issues on a jobsite this afternoon and Edy rode shotgun for me as we headed north into cowboy territory. Technically it means just walking through the mud and observing how the water works its way off the land. It’s quite fun and one of my favorite parts of pre-design. Playing (whoops I mean working)  in the rain, romping in mud, right through puddles……yep, don’t try this at home only trained professionals like myself or other  4 to 9 year old boys can do this well.  We desperately need rain here and it’s been refilling the drought stricken land for several days now. My first visit to this particular job site was sad. Dry ponds, creeks and lots of brown. Today was wet, muddy, swampy and green. As I cut through a fence and around a bunch of scrub and fallen trees I spotted some yellow in the distance; Yellow Bugle plant already blooming, smiling through the rain for all to see. Portrait required.

Life is getting in the way of my life.

As you know, forty something days ago I took on the Bikram Yoga Challenge. I missed 2 sessions due to illness and made those up last week. Over the past 5 days have done 7 sessions in anticipation of trip we have planned so I don’t miss my “mark” that shows up so clearly on my “chart” that is posted in the lobby of the studio. Two sessions of 90 minutes each at 105 degrees is a lot. On Sunday I did back to back sessions (3 hours) and it was a lot…+.  I tend toward the compulsive in most anything and yoga is my new fixation. My days of late have been geared around which time spot I’ll be attending. Am I hydrated enough? Did I eat too much or too little? Clothes, Towels….etc……
It might as well be crack………..or golf…..or sailing……….or work………..or anything else I can throw a schedule or resources at.

So yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I’d been planning for it for a long time. Gifts were purchased and goodies were stashed out of sight. I had the day planned out to military precision. Only one problem, I forgot to confirm with my Valentine what was on her schedule….YIKES !!!  Fortunately Valentines Eve I was able to get that she had plans for part of the day and I adjusted accordingly. (Being a loose and flowing guy has its benefits.) Breakfast in Bed with goodies – Afternoon Movie – Dinner with more goodies……………..it was a mellow and wonderful day!  Yoga was not involved.

This morning we went to 10am yoga. It was hotter than anything but I made it through. I grabbed a sticker to put on my chart for that session and noticed the blank space from yesterday. I placed the sticker on the next spot and had to sit down for a bit and think about what just came up in me when I saw that “space”.

That “space” on a cheesy printed 60 day chart represented all the other “spaces” in my life I had let accumulate because I chose some project/client or outside “fill in the blank” over what was most important to ME. Sure the money, fame or whatever the carrot du’jour was felt good as a pacifier, but the spaces built up and built up more and more until pacification was no longer an option. Something had to give or more importantly something had to be found.   

Edy came out of the dressing room and sat next to me while we packed up our stuff to head home. When we stood I glanced over at my chart with the space and smiled. 60 Day Challenge, 50 Year Challenge, 100 Year Challenge..what-ever…… “I choose how to spend my days now”, I thought to myself as I opened the door for her………….”I choose!”