Going Nowhere, Fast
Edy and I had lunch date today at the Four Seasons. No particular reason, I just wanted to have a “date” with my beautiful wife. Believe me when I tell you that she is always beautiful but today she was stunning ! Atmosphere was mellow – food was good and we had a number of conversations. One in particular revolved around a project I had completed almost a decade ago and another revolved around one that was more recent. We talked about the individuals involved and the ups/downs – in/out of human relationships. I think we also talked about the inside out of relationships too but I have forgotten. As we were getting ready to leave we stumbled on the topic of “speaking your own truth”; neither of us knowing that we’d opened a portal in the universe for the information streams to flow for the rest of the day.
After lunch, we walked across the street to a cool new Ethno-mega grocery store and browsed and chatted more about other parts of the world, good food, hookahs and picked up some goodies for grandkids, kids and home.
The conversation that began at lunch about “truths” and “humans” nagged at me all afternoon and the Imax Screen between my ears played and then re-played a number of scenes from life movies that I’d rather forget. These particular scenes were interactions with people where I was absolutely certain that I was “right” OR the other person was certain they were right, perhaps even more right…………or was it more importantly that we were wronged ? The details are not important but the “jist” of the flick is that we both had found ourselves “in our truth” , totally stuck there, and going nowhere ……..fast.
Fast talking, fast blaming, fast lawyering-up, fast facts , fast pointing, fast hurt, fast misunderstandings. absolute PROOF without a shadow of a doubt that we each were absolutely right………and in our truth ………about “what-ever”.
As one who was born and raised in drama, I’m a sucker for dramatic anything. It feels natural and cozy. It has fueled my success in business because I can sift through all the complicated (anything) and clean it up, organize it and arrange it all in a nice straight line, all the while sniffing the air for the next drama that needs fixing. This is a pattern of behavior and business that I have been trying to shift from for the past several years with minimal success, so far.
As mentioned in previous blogs, I used to be a fighter. Although the gloves retired decades ago the temperament has been slow to get out of the gym. There is a conflict with the part of me that wants to stand in the middle of the ring and not give an inch and the other part of me that sees the whole engagement as a silly human folly and just wants to LOL.
So Edy and I had occasion to go for a very long walk later in the afternoon to discuss in more depth “stuck places” and “truths”. We also discussed an article we both read about the 5 things people always say on their deathbeds. What we came up with is that WE hold the keys to get ourselves unstuck by simply forgiving. Starting 1st with ourselves and then moving down the line and filling in blanks with any names we’re still holding on to. Un-stucking as freeing – what a concept !
Life is moving on fast enough and I really don’t care about “right-ness” nearly as much as I used to. Not to say I don’t struggle with it, I do. So, Big Deal, at the end of the day, “I’m right” OR “I’m wrong”…………..either way POOF I’m gone and the scoreboard resets to zero, and life moves on.
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