Bokeh

Bokeh

I’ve taken a few weeks off from the blog as I seem to be in a perpetual state of flux, all over again. Sure yoga has continued on every day and various other daily and nightly happenings still occur on schedule but other happenings haven’t and still more have been side tracked by actual “Acts of God”. So, it’s been a series of intense roller coaster rides one after another. Clickity click on up to the highest highs and cheek fluttering , super exhilarating G-forces zoom down to new lowest lows. Banked curves rattle my teeth right and then left and back again until we start all over on the way up; clickity click, clickity click.... My back is pressed hard against the seat and I try to move my fingers quickly to get some circulation back in them before they are needed again. It takes some time to get any feeling back  and while I shake and wiggle them I squint to look out at the scenery around me but it is blocked by struts and infrastructure and I can only see glimpses past the frame work to the scenes beyond. Just when I think I have the “lay of the land” and what may lay ahead the tracks are shifted and ….“wooooooaaaaaaaa”……………nothing is as it is expected to be, and the only certainty of late, is an over abundance of un-certainty!!!

I’ve been trying to focus on different things during these rides which I am sure are of the utmost importance, but BOKEH only allows for small glimpses of anything that is the least bit in focus and it seems the moment I feel like I have a grasp on “it” either with my mind, my eyes, my heart or my soul the focal point shifts and I am then trying to make sense out of THAT,……then THAT,…then THAT …….it’s exhausting.

I’m writing now from a public library in Austin. We’re waiting to pick up LLL from school and rendezvous with   M and KH for a continuation of a really fun weekend. The Taos gang planned and made this long weekend happen and are now on their return drive home.  They brought with them a cold front (which they have mastered) and that too was “a bit more of the unexpected”. Walmart saved the day with warm clothes and found items in the soccer field next door allowed for hours of fun for all. Swimming at the Y was a blast and birthday parties at the kid park helped round it all out.  One evening we were able to fit a grammy a grandpa and two kids in a bed as a further installment to our adventure series about visits to  Austin and it will be added to the bigger volumes of The Hotel Chronicles.  

 

Coming together is always challenging. On one hand it’s super fun to be together and catch up on the happenings since out last visits. Whatever the “hump-day” is, there is a grey cloud of dread that starts to build up on the horizon signifying that there is a finite duration to this particular visit and I begin to feel that we have a clock ticking until we have to say goodbye.  We’re pretty fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time together during the year but as I see these guys growing and learning new skills each trip  I feel like even these short periods between visits are not short enough. BOKEH makes this all the more challenging.

We all have our lives going on in three different parts of the country and for the moment this is the way it is. As we’ve discovered over the past few years, what seemed certain and focused can shift in an instant and something entirely new can appear with spontaneous clarity, as the former fades to the background.

I guess all that is needed is an awareness of the most subtle of shifts.