..and the Creek don't rise....

Honest Work Series                                                 Til'  Harvest                                                                              c- 2011

…and the Creek don’t rise…..

We returned on Sunday from a whirlwind road trip to Taos and back in just a few days. It was a dream of ours to all be together and there were times in very recent memory that we wondered out loud if it would ever happen. It happened !!

 Astute map planning cut many hours off of an already long trip. We were blessed with a reliable automobile, clear skies, beautiful stars, planets, a few meteors and a really nice ¾ moon as we drove on and on throughout the darkness. Lowel George’s “Willin” came easily to me as we passed certain towns and the numerous trucks on the way.

I love road trips.

Daytime is preferred but given the holiday and the fact that we had children with us the evening travel made the most sense. As we drove through some of the most sparsely populated parts of this country I was reminded of what a young country we are and how we have thrived beyond what could have ever been imagined just a few generations before.

We were originally a country of risk takers and dreamers. I’m not so sure anymore “what” we are but the risk takers and dreamers seem few and far between. As we passed thousands of acres of cattle ranches and various farms I was reminded that it was these industries that kept this part of the world going for hundreds of years. We soon passed the huge wind farms in Lubbock and my admiration for dreamers and risk takers resurfaced again.  Blessed are the "can-do" men / women.

We were greeted in Taos with open arms and the hospitality was overwhelming. The kids immediately went to work catching up on the current hierarchy and the novelty of having a new little fella around. Sisters Sistered, Men got to work in the kitchen and Edy was in her glory as her brood flourished. A collective sigh could be heard as we all sat together. WOW, We did it !! This is one for the wall paintings in our Village. A valuable lesson for generations to come.

I was also reminded that it was just four years ago that Saffron was hatched around another Thanksgiving Table. It’s a dream I still hold, but as of today it’s not found a place to root despite many false starts.  If this gathering has shown us anything it is that if it meant to be – it will be...............when the time is right.

Before we knew it, it was time to retrace our route back to Texas. The ride was mellow with more good talks all around. Kids slept and before we knew it we were back, road buzz and all.

Today was our first day back to yoga for a week. Aside from stiffness from sitting in a car for 30+ hours and too much rich food, the class was just what I needed. After I showered and came back out into the waiting room I overheard a discussion between and instructor and Edy about how things are never the same after beginning yoga as a practice. Boy could I relate to that! It’s not that any kind of judgment needs to be placed on that statement it has more to do with additional perspective and awareness’s than it does with anything else. I’ll call it the 1^st law of yoga. Hold on and Let Go !

 This year is not over yet but it sure has been a doozie. Plans and certainties of the first of the year shifted by the 2^nd quarter and have been shifting ever since in an almost blinding slideshow. Nothing feels certain and any hope of sure footing seems impossible. It’s also not been cataclysmic in its shifting although it sure feels like it could be. It’s been more like physical, emotional, spiritual  and professional tectonic plates moving around to find another pre-ordained alignment. It’s pretty darned exciting sometimes when it’s not so scary. I am so grateful we all get the chance to witness each other as we progress through our individual and collective evolution. It’s a vulnerability I am not at all used to but it does feel right and God Wilin' ; I’m certainly “Willin" and ready for the next.....

      

Times of Plenty

Times of Plenty

Seasonal change in the south is subtle, very subtle. Slight variations in hue, fluffy seed pods, and St. Augustine Grass slowly fading toward tans. We missed a lot of this subtlety last year because of the draught, whereby all we saw from one winter to the next was a lot of brown and dry.

One of the most interesting things that has come about as a result of last year’s devastating draught is the abundance of seeds, nuts and fruit produced by the surviving trees. If one had no idea that the draught occurred they might assume that his is a “normal crop”. Of course this is not the case.

It would be a simple task for the city to gather up a small portion of these and just cover them with soil to replace the 5MM+ trees that were lost last summer. It won’t happen but it’s nice to think it could. Shoot we have 5MM in out block alone to start with. Then there is the whole revenue stream and job creation thing but I try not to dip my toe in those waters any more.

Another fun part of this time of year is that some of these “seeds” happen to be pecans. I first found a few last month while riding in a neighborhood I rarely ride through and then today Edy and I passed a “mother -load” and gathered some which I  just got through candying for snacks.

The recipe was one I “invented” when I was in 6^th grade after I stumbled upon another “mother-load” while climbing on the roof of our apartment building.  I collected three shopping bags of them and devised a grand plan of becoming the next “Stucky’s”.   The shelling of 1/6^th of one bag tempered these dreams a bit but I used up all the Glad Bags we had in the house and took them (raw-unshelled) to school and sold them for 25 cents a bag. Big bucks in the late 60’s, I assure you.  I experimented with my candy recipe some more and tried to do a caramel/chocolate thing (I later learned they were called turtles) which became mush and gooey on the way to school and settled on a pecan brittle type thing with cinnamon.  I have no idea how I came up with the recipe but am sure a lot of experimentation took place. What is even more amazing is that I remembered it all these years later as well as the “art of shelling”.

Anyway, “back in the day” I soon found that I could get 25 cents for 6 candied pecans where my bags held 30+/- whole pecans. I did the math and it turned out to be a thriving business for about a week until the school found out and told me to stop. It then turned into a black market operation for a bit more with folks meeting me after school and “doing a deal”.  Like many consumer items this one faded from the spotlight due partially to seasonal availability and more importantly customer saturation. The novelty had worn off.  

 

It was a very important lesson.   

 

 

Don't Look Back

Sought Relection in 1984 after creating Reganomics and other assorted follies - He was relected because the other guy was a putz (Mondale) ...............So, who is really still running the show here folks ???  .........REALLY ??

Don’t Look Back

There are milestones and then there are milestones. Today happens to be one that makes me shake my head in wonder and offer up an extra hooray of gratitude for life and ALL that goes with it. There are many times when I feel the need to judge a moment in time as good or bad but it’s days like these that let me remember what a truly bad day is and let any judgments about what IS go as quickly as possible.

28 years ago today, in 1984 Reagan was president seeking another term and I was sitting in a chair in Upstate New York wondering what the heck I had done with my life?  I was 27 years old and had already achieved a lot of outside successes as well as having experienced some truly dismal failures; that chair being one of them, or so I thought at the time.  At that moment I knew that all my tomorrows were going to be like my yesterdays and even though I was not even 30 years old yet, I was already a has been.  It was a bad day.

I learned a lot over the next twenty eight days about the definition of a disease, co-dependence, soul sickness and grace. I left there feeling that I had no clue what was going to happen next, but whatever it was – I’d be ok, of this I was absolutely certain.

I found out much later that people are actually born with this inner knowing. There were so many of those epiphanies over the next several years that I stopped counting and just re-programmed everything I thought I knew and spent most of those years shaking my head saying out loud ……“Oh my, that too?”.

Over the years, I’ve met thousands of folks who also suffer from the same “affliction”. From the upper crust 1 %ers to guys in Maximum Security at a State Penn. It’s an equal opportunity disease that spares no one, regardless of income level or address.  In fact some of the guys in Max WERE 1%ers at one time. Back in my day they gave a success rate of less than 10% for folks obtaining remission. Today I think it is even less.

Like everything else I do in life I dove in to the new life with all I had and never looked back. I approached my new life with Bushido  as I felt I was now at war.  Also, as a big 007 fan, I remember thinking “hey”.....You Only Live Twice, and put the pedal to the metal. There seemed to be a huge sense of urgency to make up for lost time and I worked like crazy to build or more accurately re-build dreams I lost while off-track. The promises they promised me came true in spades and on the outside things were looking pretty fine and dandy. I was graced and did not even know it.

Then folks around me started dying. Dying from the disease itself and from the many off-shoot forms of mutation it takes on. These were some of my very closest friends, confidents and support team members. This rocked my world to its core and set be back on my butt. I asked one of my senior mentors “what the heck was going on here?, this just isn’t right”. “Davey, ma-boy” he said “This is a killer, don’t you forget it. and never, NEVER let your guard down because it’s not about the stuff you put in you, It’s Life, LIFE is waiting for you to drop your guard”….”Crap” I said “really”?.....”Life on Life’s Terms Davey, Not YOURS”, (bless you George P).

Over the years those words and many others like them float in and out of my brain during high times and low times. What seems like a huge victory is often revealed as a major folly and conversely what feels like the worst thing ever turns out to be a springboard for something joyful beyond comprehension (cue “the chair” in the 2nd paragraph and a thousand other things).     A lot of life has gone under the bridge over these past decades, some of it I’ve accepted as it came along, other parts I have fought with all my might until I surrendered and cried “uncle”.

One of the most wonderful and unexpected gifts of this past year has been a complete transformation and resurrection of my body. I am healthier now that I have EVER been. Even when I ran nine miles a day in my early 20’s I was not in the shape I am in today after only ten months of Bikram yoga. I am amazed at this. The other is my relationship with Edy and all we have gleaned in 2012. There is way too much to put into a post like this but suffice it to say it is deeper and wider than anything I ever knew existed in this life to date.

For a guy who made sure his life was arranged with certainty and nice little ducks in a row for years, these past several years of fearless exploration, risk, adventure and creation have been the most exciting yet. Scary as anything but exciting, very exciting! I have no clue how any of this will turn out,  but I do know it’s all going to be OK, of this I am certain..........................just Don’t Look Back

Stairway to Heaven

Stairway to Heaven

 

Tomorrow is a special day.

Not only does Edy return from another visit to Taos with the kids, but it is also our Wedding Anniversary. A few dozen lifetimes wrapped into just half dozen years; awe-inspiring does not even begin to touch what we have.

So, six years ago today my son in-law and I went out for Mexican food and then watched an old war movie while I tried my best to sit still. I was “happy/nervous” as a young man I know used to say and so excited about the coming day. I joked with Edy earlier that we were embarking on something quite new for both of us and it was going to be”The Beginning of a Great Adventure”. Little did either of us know just how great or just how exciting! (“Little did we know” is a term we use often because it also part of a movie we love with Dustin Hoffman who… “ wrote a whole book on: “little did he know”….)

 “Universes colliding” was how we described our coming together. Forces bigger than us propelled us forward toward each other and resistance was futile on all fronts. Resistance remains futile to this day. Fusion IS a very powerful force.

We were married on a beautiful autumn day in Santa Fe in the Chapel of the Sisters of Lorreto. It’s a famous historic place now adjoining a nice hotel. The stairway was carved and built by a traveler who after completing it just “kept on truckin”…..It is a beautiful piece of work. Our minister was cool older gent who had done a million weddings and thankfully stayed awake during the entire ceremony. We hired a wonderful guitar player of regional fame and emense talent who unfortunately passed on to the other side a few months after our service. Kids and very young grandchildren were in attendance and everyone dressed up for the occasion. It was a magical day.

 At the appointed time, it began to snow lightly outside and Edy and her “ladies” made their way into the chapel with soft flakes in their hair. Edy was stunning in her cream dress and gloves, absolutely stunning. From the moment I saw her, the rest of the service gets a bit fuzzy. Vows, “I do’s”, kisses on the spiral stair, photos, signing the extra large bi-lingual marriage certificate and dinner in the “Hopi Room” of the adjoining Hotel.

We left early the following morning to visit a famous spa frequented by Hollywood stars. When we got to “the place” it was ...how do you say?…..”Underwhelming” and we passed on even trying it out. We headed west into “Indian territory” not the most PC word but true for we spent the next many, many days touring the beautiful lands of the Zuni, Acoma, Navajo, Hopi and other Puebloan cultures old and new.  The lands were gorgeous and the people super friendly but the dark energy of the places cast a veil over us for the entire trip.

One afternoon we illegally parked and hiked down and into the side of a multicolored sandstone mountain cave-ette and watched the sun set over the 3^rd mesa of the Hopi. We held hands and talked about how many other new loves had been in this place gazing on such a sacred site as we were doing this night? Dozens, hundreds, thousands  over how many millennia ?......”Only the spider woman knows the answer to that one” we chuckled.  To this day I do not know “why” I was compelled to take my new bride on such a journey or adventure as it might better be described; an adventure that has not let up for even a day since it began. Hold on tight or put your hands up in the air it makes no difference; the ride is what it is and our tickets are definitely “punched”.

It’s no joke that all good things in my life today are because of Edy. Loving her is the reason my heart beats. “Home” is wherever Edy is; regardless of geography. Love follows her wherever we go. H, F,M  and the grandchildren fill me daily with such joy and to witness them come into their own places of maturity and power has been an honor, an absolute honor.

It has occurred to me over the past several months that I have married God’s personal spokesperson. “Little did I know” that when I kissed her on those stairs six years ago I would be ascending a stairway to heaven every day of my life from that day forward.

Happy Anniversary EML!!!  (Edy My Love)

 

 

 

  

Sultans of Swing

Sultans of Swing

I’ve been working on some energy tax rebate stuff and 3D models for a current client since I got home from yoga this afternoon and was able to check it off my to do list.

Not bad, for changing out some lamps the owner gets a free year of electricity for both of his studios in five years, and saves another $4k per year thereafter, not bad at all. 3D models are a fun tool for clients and contractors to “get it” – They’re easy to do with the software I use and a couple decades of doing them makes it go pretty smoothly. Youtube albums also help with the production pace as the mouse and keyboard fly when Janis or Jimi are cranking it up.ZZ Top was good for the tedious erasing that sometimes needs to happen with “hides” and Dire Straights was on for the final layouts. They always remind me of my time in Japan in the 80’s. THAT trip needs to happen again !!  Bach accompanied me during the number crunching for the tax rebate calcs. A little Moonlight sonata works well with excel I have found.  

As I worked and switched between albums I noticed that Arlo Gutherie’s wife passed away this morning. He wrote a touching “epilogue” on facebook. I know no particulars, only that they loved each other and now she’s gone. Sad.

Our “potential projects” here have taken on a Mayan calendar quality as days,weeks, months might as well be baktun or some such Long Count system or perhaps it’s reverted to the Redwood system of time keeping whereby “next week” actually means “photosynthesis willing”………….I’ve given up on trying to plan anything around any of them as whatever is going on has no relationship to “time as I know it”.

Thank goodness for yoga! For one short period of my days I can be certain that at least that will be there.

Truth is I am bored out of my gourd. I could have easily farmed out all the stuff I did today but I felt the bees in my brain and I needed to give them an outlet. I don’t want to be “busy” like I have been in prior times but the cosmic work flow governor needs to be screwed out another ¾ of a turn and soon, please!  

In the meantime my current client will continue to get models of every angle of his place and tax forms for both studios and the house too. The Sultans of Swing are an antsy bunch.

Bokeh

Bokeh

I’ve taken a few weeks off from the blog as I seem to be in a perpetual state of flux, all over again. Sure yoga has continued on every day and various other daily and nightly happenings still occur on schedule but other happenings haven’t and still more have been side tracked by actual “Acts of God”. So, it’s been a series of intense roller coaster rides one after another. Clickity click on up to the highest highs and cheek fluttering , super exhilarating G-forces zoom down to new lowest lows. Banked curves rattle my teeth right and then left and back again until we start all over on the way up; clickity click, clickity click.... My back is pressed hard against the seat and I try to move my fingers quickly to get some circulation back in them before they are needed again. It takes some time to get any feeling back  and while I shake and wiggle them I squint to look out at the scenery around me but it is blocked by struts and infrastructure and I can only see glimpses past the frame work to the scenes beyond. Just when I think I have the “lay of the land” and what may lay ahead the tracks are shifted and ….“wooooooaaaaaaaa”……………nothing is as it is expected to be, and the only certainty of late, is an over abundance of un-certainty!!!

I’ve been trying to focus on different things during these rides which I am sure are of the utmost importance, but BOKEH only allows for small glimpses of anything that is the least bit in focus and it seems the moment I feel like I have a grasp on “it” either with my mind, my eyes, my heart or my soul the focal point shifts and I am then trying to make sense out of THAT,……then THAT,…then THAT …….it’s exhausting.

I’m writing now from a public library in Austin. We’re waiting to pick up LLL from school and rendezvous with   M and KH for a continuation of a really fun weekend. The Taos gang planned and made this long weekend happen and are now on their return drive home.  They brought with them a cold front (which they have mastered) and that too was “a bit more of the unexpected”. Walmart saved the day with warm clothes and found items in the soccer field next door allowed for hours of fun for all. Swimming at the Y was a blast and birthday parties at the kid park helped round it all out.  One evening we were able to fit a grammy a grandpa and two kids in a bed as a further installment to our adventure series about visits to  Austin and it will be added to the bigger volumes of The Hotel Chronicles.  

 

Coming together is always challenging. On one hand it’s super fun to be together and catch up on the happenings since out last visits. Whatever the “hump-day” is, there is a grey cloud of dread that starts to build up on the horizon signifying that there is a finite duration to this particular visit and I begin to feel that we have a clock ticking until we have to say goodbye.  We’re pretty fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time together during the year but as I see these guys growing and learning new skills each trip  I feel like even these short periods between visits are not short enough. BOKEH makes this all the more challenging.

We all have our lives going on in three different parts of the country and for the moment this is the way it is. As we’ve discovered over the past few years, what seemed certain and focused can shift in an instant and something entirely new can appear with spontaneous clarity, as the former fades to the background.

I guess all that is needed is an awareness of the most subtle of shifts.  

 

Livin the Dream

                 Vision Quest Series                                                  "My Dar-u-ma"                                                 c-2012

Livin’ the Dream

I’ve been getting up super early these past few days….missing Edy and anticipating my days has me charged up and raring to “carpe diem”. Unfortunately the “plans” of past two days have been thwarted because of medical emergencies on the part of the plan-ees and I have had to readjust accordingly.   In that I am now a yoga-ninja, my “flexibility” in times like these are becoming impressive even to me and I wonder more than once during the day……“Who IS that guy?”

I got a lot done early this AM and headed over to church super early and got a primo seat. I people watched as the throngs entered and struck up a conversation with a young gent next to be who was definitely “charged up” as he had also attended the earlier service and wanted an encore. Messages, Music and Energy were great and I left with my batteries topped off and ready for the coming week.

While in Taos I received a call from one of the yoga instructors I have come to enjoy and he asked if I could help him in developing a business plan for a new venture he is planning in his home country. I was honored. We chatted from afar and then met earlier in the week to go over homework I had suggested. He worked very hard and had developed an impressive amount of critical information that he then input into the template we discussed. We went through his plan line by line and added some more notes and “to do” lists for our next meeting. “Living the Dream” – HIS Dream !!....man, I am such a huge FAN of that!   

Yesterday was my birthday and I had planned to be out on a site measuring and “being productive” but as I alluded earlier, stuff came up and it was just not to be. I decided to turn my pent up energy on my closet and a bunch of remaining files I had on jobs of yore and some other “important stuff” I keep feeling I need to hold on to but have not (yet) brought myself to “pitch”. As I was digging and pitching I came across an old  Daruma I had received as a gift many moons ago.  As the link points out it’s an old tradition and the idea is to present it to someone who is entering into a new venture (adventure). As they firm up their intention they paint in one eye and upon realization of their “dream” the other eye is painted on.  Obviously mine is unpainted. As I looked it over I thought of all the ad-ventures experienced over the past 55 years, perceived thwarts that turned out to be blessings, failures that were actually more blessings and loads of successes and life experiences that are a wonder to behold ……….(AND the ride isn’t even over yet!!). I then thought that a more appropriate visual for my Daruma would be the one eye painted then about a ga-zillion thin wires stuck in the other socket, each with an eye attached wiggling around and looking every which way constantly. For me it’s becoming clearer that is not “one dream” but the accumulation of all the dreams that make it a fun ride.  I am not the one “good eye”.  

I am the “crazy eyes”...........................looking everywhere all at once.

I rode to yoga early thinking my long way ride #3 would get me there at the normal time. I must have been “bookin” because I  had a chance sit out in the rain for almost an hour before class. I watched the doves goofing around and a new set of humming birds fighting over the feeder that just was installed. I also noticed a slew of new lizard babies everywhere so I knew their nest were close by. Rain drops, bird sounds, drip….drip….drip……from the roof repairs that have still not happened.  It was definitely a Zen moment. This then got me thinking about the Daruma and the gent he was modeled after. “Wall watcher” (for 9 years !!) as well as the “Father of Zen”……..for whatever reason I think this is hilarious “Father of Zen”…LOL……….GMAB!...........as I watched the wall across the street ......

My “wa” was soon broken as students began arriving for class. One stopped and chatted and I learned that he had quit his corporate job to pursue a dream that recently become aware of. I applauded him (literally) and offered words of celebration for his new venture.  

Of course there is some trepidation with any new venture, particularly leaving the corporate nest to venture out on one's own, but I loved that he took the risk, bet the farm and signed up anyway. 

I am such a HUGE fan of dreamers !