I have met the enemy……
I picked Edy up at the airport a few evenings ago and boy
was I glad to have her home. Aside from missing her terribly, I’d been sick while she was away and she came
down with the same affliction too, so we both were a bit under the weather and
coughing duets as we made our way to baggage claim hand in hand. We were
accosted by a very loud guy in a suit behind us who was making a point, to make
a point to whoever he had hostage on the other end of his cell phone and I
cringed. Edy informed me that “Mr. Wonderful” had also been on her flight making
sure everyone knew just how important he was throughout the entire flight and I
cringed again when I heard this.
We stood at the baggage carousel and waited for her bags as
we then watched Mr. Wonderful walk up to a double amputee and say “wow, sorry
you got hurt man”……….then spun around and walked off speed dialing yet another
victim in the wake of carnage that obviously followed him like a dark cloud. I
cringed yet again as the “you spot it – you got it” played loud in my head and
I said a silent prayer of gratitude that my “important days” are behind me.
Yes, days of double cell phones, Seat 5A, “getting there
fast” – “getting it done” – “getting YOU to get it done” and overall planetary rotation monitoring have
been replaced with bike rides to yoga or any other place I want to go and no cell phones
at all for over 3 months. As it turns
out nobody even knows I haven’t had one, which is how important I am these days.
When the two older grand kids were about 3 & 4 I heard
them out on the portal talking to someone and thought “what the heck? “, who
could that be?” First one then the other
would be talking , not to each other but to someone else. I walked out to find
one on one end of the long outside porch and the other on the other side “talking”
into one of the dozen or so old cell phones I let them play with. I mean
TALKING up a storm!! I poked my head around the corner and first one then the other held up their hands to say “don’t
disturb me” – “I’m on a really IMPORTANT phone call and will be with YOU when I
am free”……..I went back inside and waited.
When I heard a lull in conversation I poked my head around
the corner again and as soon as they saw me they picked up the phones, put them
to their ears and started another animated conversation giving me a kind “wink
and nod” to let me know they saw me and would be with me “shortly”. I slunk
back to my desk and wondered just what kind of game they had invented?
Soon they both came in and informed me that they had just
had long conversations with “Banjo”. “Banjo?” I asked, “Yep, Banjo is our friend and we talk to
him a lot on our phones and well we’d love to tell you more but we need to get
this call as it’s him calling again”……………and off they went into the not so cute
anymore pretend conversation with “Banjo” while I sat at my computer scratching
my head wondering where they could have ever learned THAT kind of behavior.
One of the crazy things about being sick and feverish is the
intense dreams that come forth during fever induced insanity. This past week while
Edy was away I’d been doing some modeling for an industrial project and would
fade in and out of fever/sleep/dreams wondering about modeling terminology and if
I had modeled my dinner or pillow with the correct normals or Boolean
operations or some other whacko thought that my feverish brain called out. I would
drift in and out of the wackiest scenarios and remember them vividly when I
awoke.
During times when I’d get up and try to get some work done,
I’d do my best to just stay focused on
the task at hand and not give up until I
made a certain benchmark I’d set
earlier. “Ok, now we’re JUST going to model the burner assembly in the
ovens, then move on to the robotics later”, I’d coach myself. With each successful benchmark completed, I’m certain I could hear encouragement coming
from someplace in the room. I’d shake the feverish cobwebs out of my head and
plug away again for awhile until another benchmark was met and in the distance
I could hear........... “way to go!” – “Hooray” – “you’re the best!” –“awesome work”
!.......!!
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