SCREWED

Screwed

The question of “whom am I going to serve in 2016?”  was a good one posed by group I recently became involved with. It immediately became a problem question because Bob Dylan kept reminding me all day, all night,  in my dreams / day dreams for days now that

You're gonna have to serve somebody!   Of course he’s right, again.

One of the great joys of living long enough is to fail miserably and gain a level of compassion not afforded those who never risk enough to fall flat on their faces. Falling on your butt doesn’t count. I’m talking about decades of over working, sacrificing and clawing all the way to the top and standing there with all the riches and glory only to publicly fall flat in front of God and everybody.  I am grateful for the scars.

From these humiliations and scars emerged a new ministry. 

It’s not much of a ministry, but it seems one I’m called into service to carry out. It has three (3) parts.  The first part of my ministry is giving away all the intellectual property I fought in courts so hard for decades to keep. Patent Attorneys, Copyright investigators,  blah-blah-blah. Take it, it’s yours. My gift to you from God. He gave it to me, I give it to you. Don’t want the gift ?  Steal it – go ahead, you’ll do it anyway, you have my permission.

See, those are just designs – Designs are NOT me, they are just of me.

ME is going to cost you. Cost you BIG!

The second part of my ministry is to inspire others.

I have a quote on my keyboard from my beautiful wife that says:

”As I inspire others in abundance, success and love, I do the same”.  

I make it a point to do this daily. Sometimes it’s received well other times folks wonder what my angle is? (Perhaps my reputation precedes me?)

The third part of my ministry is screwed. Literally.

I cannot walk along a street – anywhere- anytime and not pick up a nail, screw or other tire puncturing object without removing it from the area at once. This is a new thing. I can assure you I could not have given a single hoot about you, your wife, daughter or mother getting a flat tire when I was standing on the mountain in all my glory surveying the masses. No way!…… “Call AAA!! Give me a break.”

It was only through falling flat on my face that I got the perspective required to “see” that I was here to serve YOU…..and You……and you…….............I’m screwed.

Miss Me

Miss Me

“Missed me, missed me ,now ya gotta  kiss me”……

I think this is how the chant goes from my 2^nd grade school yard days, though I’ve not thought of it til today.

During much of my professional life I was a commuter. Traveling daily, weekly and for longer periods chasing the lightning bugs of fame and fortune. Upon my return I’d offer “prizes” to the family in the forms of trinkets from foreign lands and tales of the big ol’ world. I was missed, I got kissed.......for a while.

In business I could give a hoot. I was a driven jerk. I did my job-you do yours and let’s move on to the next, then the next and the next…..

My Dad too was a commuter. I learned from him, added my own spin to individuate and then taught those around me “how to be” with a phantom. Truth is, I did not have to be sitting on a plane to be a commuter, it was my constant state of being. 

Here-There-Nowhere, right next to you.

God is masterful in his ways. One day the geographic commuting ceased and that family evaporated.  I happened to then be in a beautiful part of the world with a woman I loved beyond measure. She came to me with an openness and love that can only be described as divine.  She also brought with her the love of her children and later their children into the melting pot of “our village”. Despite all of this bliss, I was still a commuter at heart despite all my efforts to change.

The problem with being a dry-docked commuter is that new folks arriving into your sphere have not had the training to “know how to be” with a phantom. And worse yet, they have no desire to be taught. Ugh.  Years of solitude within a non-commuter family have taught me the real meaning of unconditional love. Our “Village” has allowed for my OH SO SLOW transformation away from a lone wolf into a member of the clan, with compassion.

Yes, today I would be missed, but more importantly this question has brought forth to me all the things I want to say and do with my love that has remained stashed away for over half a century.  Oh, Lord, please. Don't let me take any of it with me - help me to distribute it in buckets to my love Edy................the kids...........the babies. 

"Kiss Me , Kiss Me – You’ll never have to miss me”