Free Ride

Free Ride

Edy and I are in the Albuquerque Airport waiting for our delayed flight. We had a great visit with the kids yet are anxious to get home. As mentioned previously New Mexico is always a trip and this airport in particular is like visiting an old musty yet familiar old hotel. I literally lived well over  two thousand hours here …….and counting. Add to that the 10’s of thousands of hours on airplanes and other airports and somewhere along the line a big chunk of my life has been deposited between here and there. It’s not outer space, cyberspace or teleporting – I call it airport-ation. The cumulative measure of life gained or lost between “places”.  Commuting, carpooling, or “truckin’ – all the same……………”lag time”

Lord knows I used to think it was a very big deal to have Platinum Status for early boarding, upgrades, free flights, “good” snacks and access to assorted lounges until I realized that all of “us sheep” were basically making life deposits by the ga-zillions of hours in these places. Things began changing from that point forward.

During my travels back and forth between offices in different states I had an interesting experience one morning in Taos. We used to have a very colorful character we all called “Dirty Boy”. Like a lot of folks there he did his share of dumpster diving, had dreads and well, stunk. As I was getting a coffee at a little shop and he saddled up next to me and gave me a nudge. I thought, “oh brother, he wants breakfast” and pulled out my wallet again to oblige. He just looked at me and asked “Commuter?” I looked at him and said ....‘What?”’
He looked up past the ceiling into the heavens and then looked back at me slowly said……….. “Ah,I thought so………. commuter”.

During one of my photo excursions this trip, I ran across these seed pods and thought about their ability to create “airportation” via their own form of random commuting. Wind, animals, guys with cameras and loose laces in their shoes allow them to spread out from their existing locations and try again for another shot at life for the next generation. Very noble in concept but what about the lag time, being carried hither and yon until such time the seed is detached (either willingly or unwillingly) and hopefully falls to fertile ground. Commuter

From the standpoint of the calf, dog or guy with the camera the seedpod is generally an unwelcome guest to be disposed of quickly or in other cases goes unnoticed for a very long time. Either way it’s a crap-shoot as to the suitability of the new landing zone to keep with the plan. Then, IF successful, the real work begins, because we all know there is no such thing as a Free Ride.

Give Thanks

Give Thanks

I have taken a little break from the “daily blog” to visit Edy and “The L’s” in Taos for the Thanksgiving Holiday.  It’s always good to see the gang and see how fast young boys grow.

Required feasting was a group effort. Everyone did their part to ensure we all had way too much to eat and will continue to do so for the next few days.

Returning to Taos is always more than a trip for us; in fact it’s always a trip and a half.

So as not to begin a novel here about our life in Taos, we can simply borrow from Mr. Dickens, “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times”…..

There are snap-shots in life when one experiences the unbearable agony of not having certain dreams come to fruition. All of the associated energy, effort and expectations crash to create a black hole of questioning of “Why? “and “What’s it all about”?  It feels that this has all been for naught and a matter of life or death.

Fast forward a relatively short period of time and one can see that the “dreams” were nothing but an ego folly and the touch of agony that was experienced was actually just a gentle blip of pain compared to what would continue to be experienced into this day if the ego had won. Of course the “seeing” is a choice. There are many other choices that could be made to keep one safe in the warm and cozy familiar black hole.

I went out this morning and took some pictures while Edy got the 1^st ski of the season in with #1 Daughter. Both are activities we enjoy and deeply ground us.  While walking through the snow in my way too light for the season wardrobe I was reminded that “do-overs” abound at every turn in the road if you dare to keep walking. In my core I am a dreamer, I dream BIG; couldn’t stop if I wanted to.  I am also a manifestor of the 1^st order. If the dreams I dream need to manifest, they will.  Insha'Allah

Just Wait

                                                                                                 Sensuous Structures Series

Just Wait

I got up early this morning to make a coffee meeting with a gentleman we’ll be teaming with on a portion of our current project. I elected to take the back way into downtown and cleverly avoided the sheep chute of commuters stuck on all the highways.  

My host was a little bit late and I spent the time reading a real Wall Street Journal cover to cover, ink stained fingers and everything; it’s been a while since I received information this way. I also overheard bits and pieces of a mentor-protégé conversation happening in the next booth. It was refreshing as the older gent with a handlebar moustache was very patient and coached gently. “Good for him”, I thought, “I wonder if the kid understands the “other free gift”  he is receiving now in addition to his omelet?”

Our meeting was brief, to the point and extremely positive.

All the areas of interest I was hoping to cover were met and my host also offered some additional insights that were quite valid and very welcome.  Man, I love working with “professionals”. As I walked out of the lobby into the porte cochere to get my car the valet winked at me and said, “So, how’d the meeting go ?” “Great”, I answered, “really great”.

The current projects we have underway started in 2004 with a number of fits and starts and trips all over the country trying to get them to “launch” (key words “get them” – remember this line for later). They really got firmed up and set in their current framework when we created Saffron Group on Thanksgiving 2008.  Wow, it seems like seven lifetimes have passed since then. As this project has evolved a myriad of seemingly dissimilar elements have been spread out in various tables much like those tiny little puzzle pieces in fancy 5000 piece boxes, except these puzzles are 3 dimensional and tiered in such a way that the final image must be present from all viewing angles and also from the inside out. Think Hologram.

I read an article today about a study that was done that proved that practice in-fact does make perfect. Seriously, A study. With Grants and Funding and researchers with assistants and maybe even a rat or two thrown in (not really). At the end of this study it was found conclusively that those music students who practiced 10,000 hours or more were better players than students who practiced only 5000 hours.   I shake my head.  

Anyway, I am feeling just like I did when I was 6 and completed the “beginning corner” of a new birthday puzzle. After spending hours tediously sifting through the box and looking at each piece, examining it and setting it aside, over and over again there is a big surge of “ah, ha !!” when those first two pieces come together.  Like then, its kind of messy and doesn’t look like much now, but just wait.

Not My Job

                                                                                             NOT MY PHOTO

Not My Job

Today started out as a very mellow morning of reflection and meditation. I woke early so I could catch up on some reading I’d been stockpiling and then eased into the day with a nice conversation with Edy.

My internal winds shifted without warning and I was soon in an emotional downdraft, plummeting into the black hole of rage.  If I’m honest, the “without warning” part is flatly untrue. Everything that got me “cranked up” today was a culmination of subtle and not so subtle hints that were fore-shadowing events to unfold.

One of the beautiful things about my job is the “design process” and the “math”.

If I do my job correctly, things get built correctly and everyone is happy, one or two years down the road when the project is complete. If any of the ga-zillion elements that go into a project get overlooked, fudged or short cuts taken, then there are going to be problems. The math doesn’t lie and neither to the “plans”. Mess with one component and you soon have a ton of problems that all point back to the original “whoops”.   Many times I am the Whoops-“er” and have to send out revisions and addenda and fall on my sword in front of my colleagues/clients confessing to them all that despite all they may think of me “I’m Human”………They usually reply, “and …?”   Other times I get a call or will be visiting a site and will be pulled aside by a whoops-“ee” who proceeds to tell me “that despite all I may think of him/her”,….. “you’re human too ?”…I just finish it for them, because I know how painful it is to admit that little known fact.

Then there are times I will get a call from someone who is just dying to point out my “human-ness” either in truth or through their own “human-ness”. I feel both sad and angry at these folks because they’re a sub-set in the “build” community who’s sole purpose it is to find “whoops” on the design end so that they can “shaft”   (I thought hard about the correct word) the design team / owner. Of course once one of these “finders” raises their flag, it’s game on. Human–vs- Human,digging for dirt and sucking all the joy right out of the project. These folks can make what has been a “pleasant and creative” process arduous and miserable.  On the other end they now have me sifting through EVERYTHING they do, touch, install, pay, don’t pay, submit, clean up  etc….to find homeostasis.   Usually somewhere down the line we all settle down and they see that this is what “I” do & I just figure it’s their job and how they feed their families and mutual respect is achieved via responsible adult interactions.

Then there are days like today.

Perhaps you too have experienced the type of person who blames YOU for their crappy:  (fill in the blank here) …life, job, skill set, education, happiness, un-happiness, childhood, adulthood, income, vacation,  broken car , mixer, printer, problems…….and on and on…because they asked  “your counsel” on all the above for hours on end….and heeded none of it …..so, YOU must be the problem here, (they’re actually right)   They also seem to  fall under the sub-set of ones that YOU have paid to perform a service or job, that they then they screw  up.   No “whoops” . No, my gosh, you’re right that is not my best work, NO, they then blame YOU !!! Because YOU wanted them to do it correctly not only the 1^st time but 2^nd time and every other time you PAID them to do it !!!  And then they ask, “you mean Everytime ????”   

After today I will answer “Actually NO, I should have stopped at the first time you failed to take responsibility for yourself, ugh.”

I am find that I'm having better days when I retire a few of the hats I have worn so proudly for all these years; they’re getting a bit ratty. I’m not sure when I took on the role of counselor, teacher, mentor, advisor or any of the other personas that hide under the assorted brims. It’s been a gradual “collection” I’ve apparently gathered to bolster some other parts that must have felt lacking or perhaps even superior.   I am slowly beginning to feel that all my various skills need to focus in-house from now on, because any energy directed outside these walls is just not my job.

Looters

Looters

Got up early and started plugging away on some details on our project. Edy chimed a bit later from Taos and we had a pleasant FB chat session before we both signed off to go get some exercise.

I decided to bike down to the Urban Farmers Market before the promised thunderstorms opened up to see what they had to tempt me with. I held off on breakfast, just in case there were some goodies there.

The front was blowing in right on my face so the “burn” in my legs started sooner than usual, oh well “good”, I thought, get em in now, because the bike will not be going out too much in the coming days with the storms that are forecast.

I made it to the Farmers Market OK and could see as I peddled up the street it was crowded.

I noticed a new unit being framed in a “Luxury Development” next door and could see already it was going to be a challenging morning.  The Big-Mother of a sign in the front said “Luxury Townhomes $900k and UP…..ugh. Stick built, 24” centers, Built up 2x lumber beams, Not even any flitchplates, OSB sheathing, the cheapest of standards for the maximum of pricing. I wanted to yak my breakfast before I even had it in my gut. …….ugh, LOOTERS.  

I shook my head, parked my bike, put the helmet on the handle bars and I did my 1^st pass of the stalls, eyeing both the produce and the people. Mushrooms looked good, greens were also looking good. Rain is helping things, finally!  I rounded the last bend and saw one of the larger stalls replenishing their stock from boxes clearly marked CALIFORNIA !!! I asked them what the deal was and they said oh, yea we just mix it in with the other “local” produce……Riiiiiight, “local”, my butt………………Looters.

 I needed to shake off the growing “attitude” I could feel building in me, so I headed north to a favorite Beignet place we like. It was busy with families but the line moved quickly. I ordered and took my plate outside. I grabbed one of the “free” papers and skimmed through it as I noshed on my deep fried goodness. A gent with a suit came and sat at the next table to me and started complaining about “Romper-room” or some such issue he had with inside dining. I ignored him and did not even look up.” I’ll bet he’s probably the developer of the Looter Condos,”  I thought to myself.

Now that the cinnamon / sugar had kicked in … and kicked out most of the “attitude” ,I decided to head over to the MFA and try to see the Dutch Masters Exhibit (again). I stopped at the Center for Photography on my way to see what they had going on. It was a nice showing. Parking at the MFA was easy and the exhibit halls were practically empty despite being “open” this time. The show was marvelous and the breath of the work quite impressive. No Vermeer’s, but all the others were represented, in all genres. Rembrandt’s solo portrait was stunning.   Truly, a Masters show with large paintings over 10’x14’ and some as small as 6”x6”, all with the requisite attention to detail and finesse I admire so much in their works. Being a bit of a history buff, I like envisioning the “times” when looking at paintings or artwork. It’s kind of fun to imagine living in that particular era and this show allowed me to go as far as I wanted. Politics, social classes, transportation, weather, architecture, food, flowers, it was all there with depth.

As I strolled through again for a second pass,  I started looking closer at the framing of the paintings.  Holy Moly !!! That is a 18” x 10” solid piece of EBONY !! Then next it about the same dimension of Cocobolo, then  Purpleheart, Rosewood, Wenge  and on and on. It finally dawned on me that, as these “Masters” were honing their skills in the 1600’s, their countrymen were off pillaging far away colonies for their natural resources and enslaving the indigenous peoples for a guilder or two.   I was having a hard time trying to reconcile how such deep beauty and sensitivity could coexist with Looters, of the first order?  

I did a fast forward of my “history loop” and remembered that the Dutch ended up paying dearly in the centuries that followed for their schenanigans and started to feel a bit better about the whole day.   Ah, Karma, the great equalizer.  

The F Word

The F Word

It was a cool morning, 46 by the online thermometer. So, I stayed in and worked revising some bid documents to keep trying to bring the budget numbers in lower and lower on a current project.

Edy and I had a short Facebook chat session in an attempt to connect. Being apart is hard. Being apart when one of us has a broken phone is harder. We’re creative and have found other means of communication. Electrons are not always required.

I wanted to head out to one of the stores today to get some items for her that she had been admiring in various magazines. I love looking at the ads with her and seeing the latest in jewelry, clothes and shoes as we turn page after page. "YES, THAT would be great!!"", No I don’t think so , Humm ???"", I’d have to see it on you".......  

Not too many men like shopping with their wives, but I absolutely LOVE IT !!  

It is my hobby, dressing Edy.

I also like the see how the photographers showcase not only the wares but the wear-ers.

I’ll first scrutinize the lighting. Humm….???.....OK , 3:1 Kodak Standard,INTERESTING !!!,

4:1 Rembrandt with a “kicker” ,Clever.  Ahhh, Full daylight with 5:30 offline fill,  Ugh, How Pedestrian…blah ! .”Derivative, all derivative!!!”……….”Humm” (again), “nice job!!”

I then look at the Models themselves,  Ah, “pretty”.  Wow, “very nice” – Yikes, “one season left, I hope you have an annuity or a Masters degree in your back pocket”.

Then on to the “goodies” they are advertising – “Yep, they don’t tailor like that anymore” , “That color AGAIN ???, it was horrible in 1952 !!”, “Humm, VERY clever use of materials” , “Yes, that is a winner”….and on and on…. I love line, form, texture, color and pattern. I am and crazy about nuance and whacko over subtlety. I’ve always known it for myself and for my projects but never really knew how much I enjoyed this new “hobby” until Edy.

We then will head out at the most random times to “practice”.

It’s a lot of work for her to try things on …and on…to show and spin, and show and spin ,but I am glad she indulges me as I admire HER in every item. "Beautiful", I say "and the Dress is nice too"....."Wow, Edy - You look STUNNING !!!"   Eventually we will settle on……less than I feel we should be getting and more than she wants. Yin-Yang. I am a horribly impatient shopper for myself and for clients, but for my “hobby”, there seem not to be enough store hours in a day..........or a lifetime.

Earlier in the year, I had a chance to “practice my hobby” with our older daughter too. She was hesitant at first, but then got into it more and more as our evening continued.  She’s a fast learner. We had a really good time and she looked lovely in her new ensambles.  I think Grandson #1 also has a touch of the “hobby” in his veins; we’ll just have to let it evolve and see if he too, is a fan of “Fashion”.

Step Right Up

Step Right Up

I worked this morning on very detailed stuff that was tedious but had to get done. Then I took a break to get on the bike and ride for a bit to loosen up and grab a bite at a new place that opened up a few miles away from us.  It was a cool ride , just barely in the 60’s but the sun was warm and it felt very refreshing to be moving…….sitting and staring at computers for hours makes me “creaky”.

We’ve been watching the transformation of a particular open space into a “Fine Eatery” for months. I was really looking forward to trying them out as I had skipped breakfast and was hungry after working and my ride. The place had a few other diners in it but the line at the counter went a bit wonky as we all figured which line we were supposed to be in to place our eat in orders. Halfway through the line of “order-ers” the Cash Register went on the fritz and the whole operation came to a standstill. The worker bees caucused to determine “WHAT TO DO ??” Then a guy with an authoritative air rushed in from the back to take charge and commanded “take down credit card numbers on paper !!!...........”What if they want to pay with cash ?"  one of the privates asked ……….”Humm, ??? OK, we can take cash”, he said. Obviously a guys who could Step Right Up under pressure.

As I made my way forward in the queue, I observed that the poor soldiers behind the counter were totally dis-combulated – Inching ever forward it became pretty clear that even though these front line folks were in a tizzy, the Kitchen was even worse.  I could leave now ……or not ?

I chose to be part of the science experiment playing out in front of me and stepped right up and placed my order. The FOUR ladies behind the counter were frazzled……….”Our Cash Register is Down” they bleated out to everyone in front of them, even though all of us in the line have heard the cries of doom with each preceding order they took.  It was a pitiful site, worthy of  Sally Struther’s voice-overs with each succeeding “guest”. After placing my order for the “Turkey Sandwich Special” they asked if it would be OK if I paid when the sandwich was delivered because “your cash register is down” I answered for them. They looked at each other like I was Karnak the Magnificent………”how’d HE know that ??”

So, for TWENTY minutes, I sat and watched the experiment continue until I finally asked about my order…..”Oh, would you mind giving it to us again ??..........Our Cash…”………”Register is down” I finished for them. (Again, same look of wonderment……….”how’d HE know ???”)

Finally I got my “Turkey Sandwich” and paid with Cash $8.93……….I gave then $9 and I THEN could not believe it………..Out pops THE CALCULATOR !!!....................”keep the change” , I mumbled as I walked back to my counter spot…………..oh, brother!

In my absence some young gents had decided it was now their counter and settled in. I just stood there and vibed them. It took about 15 seconds but they looked up and said “oh, was this your spot ?””, I just “gryelled” at them (growl-smile) and nodded. As they slid over I set my “special sandwich” down and open the box. JUST a sandwich wrapped in paper cut in half……nothing else, Ugh. At this point I was grouchy and hungry and took a huge bite. Chew, chew, chew, crunch, more crunch………..CRAP !!!..... ....BACON !!!  I have not eaten red meat in over 20 years !!!.....ERRRRrrrrrrr !!......That’s gonna be a problem.   As I did a Pick, pick, pick through the sandwich I reviewed the dozens of clues I chose to overlook to subject myself to this disappointment. Dozens. Then of course I did the full life review of other times I’ve made the choice to not heed the rather sophisticated (if I may say so myself) internal warning system I have in place for just such potential catastrophes.  As I pondered the review I picked through the other half of the sandwich to remove the swine and promised myself………..”Next time”. “Yep, next time for sure”.