Little Big Blessings

Little Big Blessings

Summer time has begun.  Grandchildren for weeks and activities galore.

Edy and I dream about days like these while we’re here together and we are now living them daily with the exact cast we had hoped for.  

Sounds of Silence

Pueblo Bonito #9                                                       Vision Quest Series                                   Copyright 2005 DK Sargert

Sounds of Silence

I woke up a bit earlier than usual, reached over and gave Edy a squeeze and slid out of bed so as not to disturb our 6 year old “visitor” as he snored angelic in dreamland, snuggled up next to “Grammy”. I made us both some coffee being sure to wrap the grinder in a towel lest it disturb anyone still sleeping in the house. I brought Edy hers along with a kiss and mimed a heart beating and pointed to myself and then her……….drawing an exclamation point in the air. I then left them both together so they could enjoy their morning wake up ritual. They both were in heaven.

I took my coffee and sat in front of my computer as do each morning and began reading emails. One in particular caught my eye and as I scrolled through all the links came to good video then home page of the author and the topic she had posted was “your relationship to silence”. Write a bit and share if you wish. “Hummm?” I thought, “I am a huge fan of silence and am always on the lookout for Blog Topics”, I thought “perfect”.

I have always enjoyed my solitude and the silence of various places on the planet. Sailing always appealed to me more than Power Craft and Museums more than Carnivals. As much as I love children and grandchildren and interactions with other humans; sometimes a break is good. Today, I really love silence and the “Power of the Pause” as one of our favorite people states it.  It has not always been this way.

Until recently I required some kind of background noise during all of my waking hours in the form of CD’s or NPR. Truth be told I do play “waves” to go to sleep now because I developed some kind of Pavlovian response to my acupuncturist and would go out like a light when he turned it on in his office during procedures. No, I’m not talking about “sleeping” , I’m talking about being uncomfortable with being by myself, in silence; at work, in a car, “putzing” – all required background noise and even now I find myself looking to “fill in the blank” of silence if I’m feeling discomfort.

It started slowly with prayers and meditation and then continued into longer and longer stretches of time where I would not speak or hear other humans for hours at a time. Nature is always a good place for this I found and long walks in the sage of the High Desert would attune my ears to new sounds with each walk.

The newest and most interesting sounds were the messages that would come to me in the silence. Answers to questions, enlightenment on difficult topics and an expansiveness of love for those around me, that grew unfettered by static. Sure the “mitote” would attempt to dominate at times but soon they all just sat back and “talked amongst themselves”.

The image above was taken in Chaco Canyon, NM. It’s a magical place with deep spiritual significance and history. In some circles it is considered “sacred”.  It is a tourist Mecca and is generally full of the devout. The day I was there, there was no one and for eight hours it was just me and the ghosts. I had a similar experience in France at Mary Madeline’s Cathedral in Maximim. Another “sacred”  Mecca in the middle of August and I had the place to myself. Just me ,MM’s skull and more gold than I knew could exist in one place.  There was lots of silence and more importantly the time to “hear it”.  I felt very “plugged in” and connected to all before me and all to come on both occasions.

In our new city I have a lot of opportunity to ride my bike. Sure, the exercise is good, the fresh air fun and the smells wonderful,  but what I really like is hearing the whirr of the tires on the pavement along with the feeling of being “plugged in” again………… and again………….. Sometimes it’s deafening.

It’s Big

It’s Big

We walked over to the largest church in America this morning for services. I’ve never been a big church guy but it’s an experience and a half and the messages thus far are all quite positive and uplifting. I do get a charge out of “sacred spaces” as you know and am still pondering, if a former basketball stadium turned performance space could actually be termed “sacred”? It’s an open question.

Appx 44,000 are in attendance for each service. I do not know if the TV crews are included in the count. Regardless, that is a lot of energy contained in one space. It’s more a concert with an uplifting talk than a bible banging session but I think there may be some of that going on in other room, I don’t know for sure. (I am probably just trying to find fault or have perhaps reached an “ULP” moment). As mentioned, I always feel great afterward and sure enjoy being with the gang during the “experience”. I’ve had similar good feelings in different places of worship other than Christian but have had scads of other horrible experiences in only Christian venues. So, I remain suspicious.

Today’s guest pastor spoke of the role of Science in God and vice versa. He reminded us of the “greatness and bigness” of the Universe (and therefore of GOD) and also of our “smallness” in the scheme of things. “I am with you on these observations Pastor”, I said to myself.  In the back of my mind I was thinking that those Monty Python boys had it dead-on when they sang for us to “always look on the bright side of life.” Being a big fan of Science, God and Monty Python I enjoyed the talk immensely and have been reflecting on it all day.

Science seems to be a big thing this holiday weekend. The Science Museum here had an opening for their new Paleontology wing which we attended yesterday. This town in particular owes a big debt of gratitude to prehistoric micro organisms for sacrificing themselves so that Detroit and now Tokyo, Seoul or Beijing create more gas-hog autos; in turn “fueling” the local economy……………………for now.

I’ve had ongoing fascinations with the history of space and with the history of this planet. Geology, Botany, Biology and Anthropology are all topics I pursue as much as possible. I also enjoy classical histories as told through the ages via Torah, Quran or Bible in addition to recent texts of oral traditions of aboriginal sects of humans. Then of course there are the more recent histories which are indeed repeated again and again. Humans in all their forms are still better than TV.

I remember finding fossils as a kid just south of here and later seeing dinosaur tracks in the rock bed of my neighborhood. I also recall the hours I spent on my Medicine Wheel looking at the heavens more recently. The sense of wonder and “bigness” seem to emanate from the same source. The discovery of something on the outside completed a circuit to something on the inside and soon and entire circuit board was being formed, one human at a time. Sure, some folks could give a hoot and that is why others carry a bit more than the rest. It’s not about equality it’s about maintaining the power supply.

I remember reading Stephen Hawkins “A Brief History of Time” and his conclusion that it was all indeed so big that God must exist. At the time I just coming to understand of anything bigger than me and this book in particular helped me on that path. In later years I’d be shown miracle after miracle of “bigness” as if to underline “the point”.  I incorporated my newfound philosophy and spirit into my designs in hopes that the message would be received, not realizing that I was creating yet another open question.

Our days of late have been SO full of “lessons, experiences and adventure” that we sometimes shake our heads and wonder “What’s it all about?”….I really don’t know, I just know, ………..“It’s BIG”

Hang Ten

Hang Ten

Edy and the boys were already doing morning projects when I decided to ride over to yoga.

I have taken a few days off to attend to elements of my post challenge NEW life and also want to spend as much time with the Taos gang as possible.

The ride was pleasant against the morning wind and it was not yet hot due to the early hour.

My ongoing obsession with tracking cell phone users has risen to a fever pitch and I marveled at line after line of cars I passed where the drivers all were talking or texting.  Cell signals in all directions were bombarding my senses.

Class was hotter than usual but I survived to ride home with the wind at my back and made really good time.  One the way I marveled at the multitudes of color in the foliage in this town. The air quality might not be the best but I’ll be darned if the profusion and varieties of colors offset that a bit.

Last year’s drought wiped out stretches of old growth trees and some newer ones too. Those that have survived are doing everything their DNA encoding tells them to do to survive and they are doing it, very well.  Plants know how to survive for sure. If it’s not a drought here then it’s flooding from a hurricane or the backwash chemical air in from the coast and all the Chem-Petro plants spitting stuff out 24/7. Then there is lightening which is certainly a buzz kill, but again they get fried and keep growing. The only thing they cannot survive is a suburbanite with a Home Depot Credit Card who just got a flyer in the mail with ½ off coupons for  Round-up and Chainsaws. A hundred and fifty years of survival…….. “poof”…………….for easy monthly payments.

Of course there are also the years of “nothing special” happening. Just growing, thriving and sending out young-uns’ year after year. “Cambium Bliss”. Then a few minor disturbances, a few more and then the 8 track of life repeats and it’s déjà vu all over again. Regardless, the will to survive is not thwarted and cells continue to circulate. Life goes on.

On the drive to pick up dinner tonight I made my usual commentary about the line of drivers who just passed. “They were ALL on their phones” !!  Edy,kindly reminded me that what I am seeing is a mirror of me not that long ago. -YIKES_ Yep, commuting back and forth to the ranch with two phones going at the same time……….”That’s IT”!!! I replied “I have been getting SO charged up about this “phone-nomenon” that I completely lost that It was ME I was looking at via others.  “This is BIG”.

Later this afternoon I finished all the work I had and left some other difficult issues to rest on the back burner. I then headed down to the pool to see the gang. The boys are developing gills and their skills are now improving hour by hour. Their little faces lit up when they saw me and all of my “difficult issues” from the 4^th floor evaporated……………………….. 

Love conquers all

Room and Bored

Room and Bored

Young boys have a lot of energy.

For the most part, at this age their regulators have little range beyond ON and OFF. Moderation and modulation skills are being learned, but for the most part their days consist of ZOOOOOOM………….and …………….ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

In the interim, a lot of attention is required to ensure that all new tricks are observed-applauded, books read and puzzles, puzzled so that the children’s cry of “carpe diem” is not wasted. Then of course, there is chess, card games and “pool time”. Pool time offers an expansive aquatic stage for the perfection of a myriad of tricks and “skills” while honing a very important survival skill at the same time. Adults breathe a bit easier with each successive show and therefore clap just that much harder.

 Of course all the various activities require paraphernalia, and all that paraphernalia needs to be kept someplace. So the bottom line is, kids need lots of room ……………for their stuff. (Just like Grandpa)

 As we divest ourselves of accumulated stuff from our previous lives we seem to have reached a tipping point whereby another purge is required on our end to make room for some recently acquired “goodies” to ensure the expansion and support of the younger members of our village.

 It occurred to me earlier today as I looked in the storage unit that as long as they are not bored, I will not be bored either. While they are here they keep me hopping and when they return home,  I’ll just keep busy making more and more room for the “props”……

U Talking 2 ME?

Edy and ¾ of the Taos gang arrived late last night after and extra 6 hours of mechanical delays. Wow what a long day for them !

I arrived at the airport early as usual because I have an ongoing science experiment there and with auto mobile drivers that covers many fields of interest. Lately I have been putting to good use the ol’ spot it U got-it lessons of the past as they relate to cell phones. Oh yes, I bought one to the 1^st (suitcase size “mobile phone”) and later would carry one or two 24/7 because of my “importance”. Today I rarely carry it and most of the time I find it just in time to see it needs charging. Let’s just say things have changed.

As I sat on my bench in the airport watching receivers greet their arriving loved ones I noticed a disturbing trend I had witnessed previously continuing to evolve. I’d say 7 out of 10 folks arriving had a phone to their ear or were madly texting. Some went on to baggage claim but a good 35% of those with phones met their receivers and kept the conversations going. Hugging or shaking hands while still engaged in another conversation. What a bummer for the receivers. The “perps” ranged in ages from 9 to 90, most walked but many were in wheelchairs. Oh, brother what have we come to?

My somber experiment was suddenly interrupted by a screaming child yelling at the top of his lungs “DADDY !!!! – I MISSED YOU SO MUCH !!!”…………..and Dad was beaming, Mom was aglow as she handed off the 6 year old to Poppa and both of the adults did a great “sandwich hug” with young Mr. Vocal in the middle. No cell phones. “YEP, That is how you greet someone you love !” I said to myself.

Soon afterward as more of the lemmings arrived confirming previous data another family arrived in the waiting area with a “Wanted Poster” for Cheryl Duvall……….All of the Duvall’s looked alike and it was not terribly long before THE Cheryl shrieked around the corner and blended in with her family that WANTED her so badly. It was cute, Cheryl was giddy in her embarrassment. Again no cell phones.

I made one more round to the Arrival Board and saw that the plane was due in anytime and took my place at the front of the receiving line. A woman came up at once and asked me if I had seen anyone come through in a wheelchair and I said I had been here for an hour and saw probably 20. She said “No in the last 2 minutes” . “No, not yet, I said”.. just then she broke through the DO NOT ENTER – TAS line and went hollering to her white haired guest “Momma you Walked !!” and the rest of the conversation was in German………..Again beautiful to watch even though TAS had gone into “Red Alert” and were walking toward the “other perps” with Federal Warrants, fortunately Momma and Daughter both walked, and fast. No cell phones were observed.

Finally my gang came around the corner – HOOOOooooo RAYYYYYYyyyyyy !! I yelled to them as they made their way to the “OK to Cross Line” ……..”Welcome, I am so HAPPY to SEE YOU, I missed you so much !!!”……….Big hugs and kisses were exchanged and “special things” were exhibited before we had gone 100 feet because of the excitement. Both boys miraculously produced PEZ from their ears too. The day’s events were told and retold as we made it through baggage claim and out to the parking garage to get the car. Clarification and grey areas were addressed during the ride home so that we could all settle in once we got there. 3 generations of know it alls in one car, love it !

16 hours of travel is a long day for anyone, if you’re under 7 it’s a super long day. Baths and a little energy “blip” and it did not take long for the snoozing to begin. Road buzz or Airport Buzz takes a bit of time to disperse and The Tennis Channel seems just the thing to allow an easing into real relaxation. Mellow got mellow-er and we soon said out “good nights” and retired to our separate wings. It was already today by the clock.

As Edy changed into PJs in the bathroom I tucked the boys in a bit, as they sleep in our room during visits. Our bed finally felt balanced once Edy came in and the last weeks of “flying solo” officially came to an end. During the night I could hear three different breathing patterns. All soft, rhythmic and so relaxed. I then added in my own, as I knew all was well. Edy’s home, and the good times have not even started !

Ol’ Sow and Sow

Ol’ Sow and Sow

I woke up super early this morning as it was the 1^st day of my NEW LIFE , made the bed, did a bathroom check and then did final inspection on the house to make sure everything was in order for the arrival of Edy and the Taos gang. Everything passed inspection and I scrolled through a few emails before heading over to the bank to do some stuff there. I then returned home and awaited a meeting with a fellow yogi I had planned.

It occurred to me the other day that despite being here for almost two years, (the 1^st 13 months don’t count because I was essentially a commuter and when I was here I was too tired to do anything) I really know no one.  So earlier in the week I reached out to 4 guys I know , 3 from yoga - one sales guy and   thought we’d just chat and get to know each one a bit better. This morning’s meeting was very pleasant and I enjoyed the connection over shared interests. My goal with these meetings is to just make myself known here and plant seeds for the future, as we envision a really good future here.

Afterward, I did a bit of shopping in anticipation of going to the airport to pick up the gang. Edy and I had a short conversation before I left and fortunately had another one from the parking lot of the 2^nd grocery store because the first one was short and fragmented because I “was on a mission” and the second one had the depth and intimacy we both strive for.  I got what I needed at the store and got home in record time only to find that their flight had been delayed. “Humm, well ok then lets wrap up the other things we started this week” I said to myself, and began finishing up a bunch of forms and templates for site visits and then figured out how to set up another website as a proxy host for all the photos that are in these blogs so that folks may purchase them in the very near future.

While I was working, I had electronic conversations with guys I know all over the world and in N and S America about software and software development. We all use the same CADD Softwares and many of us have known each other since the 80’s. Most of us were on development teams together and we all have “history”. Questions were asked about certain things and answers came with assorted “email accents”  (ie. “that prissy Colour”……”about the width of a flea’s d#ck” ……”cheers mate” ………”muito obrigado” ….and on and on…..) When I have a problem, I drop an email to any of these guys and usually within an hour - 24/7 my questions are answered. These are seeds that were planted via MS-DOS (sure you remember c:\filenames\that\had\to\be\short\)  that still bear fruit on a continual basis. It’s not a one way street either; I participate and do what I can too to help when asked and most of the time I just cheer them all on because that is my “gift” , to inspire others. The crazy thing about all of this is that none of us get paid for the help. We offer our knowledge out and in return we are able to access the knowledge base of others. Also, it just feels good. If one of us has a a client needing help in their country or town we refer them directly, THAT is how it works

OK, back to my epiphany about getting out and meeting folks. In my core I’m actually a very shy person. Sure I can “schmooze and mingle” and have even been known to “frolic” on occasion. I can also present my “canned pitch” about my work and blah, blah, blah…..BUT, when it comes to just about “me”, well, that information is not for everyone. Very few, in fact.

As I am going through this next iteration of personal evolution I am finding that I actually want to be around good people of integrity and who also have their own gifts. Not as a client-patron relationship but as folks living in their collective “Zones of Genius” exploring each other to find HOW we can help each other live our best versions of ourselves before it’s time to “go”. A “project” is not going to give me that. All the books, magazines, awards and medals in the world with my name are not going to give me that. But kindred-spirits of the human kind, can, have and will again. I just need to go out and meet more and more and more, in this town. NOT online. So, today a seed was planted, perhaps this weekend a couple more will be planted and next week and ………we shall see. What better place to start but where my own interests lie……….Yoga, Museums….etc…

I’m reading James Michner’s TEXAS. I like JM because he gives you all the history and depth of detail that keeps me interested. Sure, he’s kind of pompous at times, but what‘s that saying,  “you spot it you got it” . I cut him slack. I am so grateful that we moved ourselves to a land such as this with such rich and deep history of endless possibilities that span generations. This Hopi Corn Farmer is gonna make it my business to ensure our crops grow fat and strong by reaching out every day and asking “How can I help YOU?”  Then I would hope to learn as much about you as possible. Perhaps you might feel that there is someone else who might benefit from my gifts and say “Let me introduce you to good ol’ sow and sow?”

I’ll be doing just the same.